Wednesday, August 26, 2020
Design And Construction Fundamentals Of Earth Dams Environmental Sciences Essay
Plan And Construction Fundamentals Of Earth Dams Environmental Sciences Essay This paper centers around earth dams, one of the most seasoned earth dams. Framing administration store for household water flexibly and water system reason, earth dams include the most various class. The structure and development of Earth dams are perplexing a direct result of the idea of the fluctuating establishment conditions and the various properties of the materials accessible for the development of the dike. To wrap things up, a comprehension of the expected disappointment of Earth dams is significant in the structure and development procedure of the Earth dams. Earth dams, additionally called earthen or earth-filled dams are commonly implicit or close to waste line which has the assortment of purposes including residential water supplies, horticultural water system, water for scene improvement and others. One bit of leeway of the Earth dams is on the grounds that it can adjust to a powerless establishment gave legitimate thought is given to the establishment and structure of the Earth dams. Notwithstanding, disappointment of any significant piece of the Earth dams, for example, drainage, auxiliary and establishment will prompt the breakdown of the entire dam. Sorts of Earth Dams Built as a basic homogenous dike of very much compacted earth, earth dams are named Homogenous Earth Dams, Zoned Earth Dams and Diaphragm Dams. A concise conversation of the sorts of dams is: Homogenous Earth Dam is a sort of normal earth dams which comprise of two primary segments; the impenetrable to semi-pervious structure and the toe channel and the channel. The motivation behind the channel and the channel is to give a through method to drainage to leave the dam structure without causing disintegration. This sort of dam is normally based on an impenetrable establishment, for example, strong stone or earth. The following kind of Earth dam is Diaphragm Dam. A stomach dam, can be utilized when there is no impenetrable layer beneath the dam and adjustment of the dam can be made to suit at an impenetrable layer. Plus, this kind of dam is restricted to a stature of 8.0m so as to keep drainage powers at a protected level. Last kind of Earth Dam is Zoned Dam. A Zoned Dam is known to be the most proficient utilization of soil as every material is utilized to its most prominent potential. The incline security shields the shoulder from disintegration and wave activity, the center holds the water and the shoulders balance out the center. In conclusion, figure 1 shows the 3 kinds of earth dams. Figure 1. Cross area of Homogenous Earth dam, Zoned earth Dam and Diaphragm Dams 2. Structure OF EARTH DAM Earth dam is worked to store water and is made of compacted earth. It is typically increasingly advantageous when cement is costly and lumber is scant. 2.1 Foundation A site examination ought to be directed before development in order to research the idea of the establishment. By realizing the real establishment condition at site, the earth dam would then be able to be planned by it. A dam establishment is supposed to be satisfactory on the off chance that it is equipped for offering a steady help for the bank under all state of immersion and stacking and that it give enough protection from drainage to maintain a strategic distance from unreasonable loss of water (Bureau of recovery 1987). As indicated by Bureau of recovery (1987), dam establishment can be commonly grouped into three sorts in particular establishments of rock, establishments of coarse-grained material and establishment of fine-grained material. These establishments may should be blessed to receive balance out any shortcoming just as to decrease leakage. For example, coarse-grained, pervious establishments present no troubles in the matter of settlement or steadiness though a fine-grained, feeble establishment is dependent upon settlement or removal typically present no issue in leakage. Rock establishment then again should be checked for erosive spillage and over the top elevate pressure. In the event that such conditions exist, grouting to the establishment must be thought of. 2.2 Soil Earth dam is typically worked with mud, sand and rock and thus is otherwise called earth fill dam. The sort of soil utilized in the development of an earth dam must be appropriate to consider ideal compaction too to decrease drainage. Soil penetrability is one of significant models to be considered in dam plan, leakage constrainment units, seepage and other auxiliary components (Goldin, AL Rasskazov, LN 1992). Drainage for the most part happens in fine-grained soils such, with more noteworthy porousness, just as in some coarse-grained soils (Goldin, AL Rasskazov, LN 1992). Higher frictional obstruction and more noteworthy penetrability in granular soils is the explanation behind its more prominent security when contrasted with strong soils. More noteworthy porousness grants quick dispersal of pore water pressures coming about because of compressive powers. 2.3 Embankment In deciding the stature of the bank, it is important to distribute for a settlement between 5 to 10 percent. This is to forestall its tallness turning out to be lower than the spillway stature (Figure 1) since settlement is unavoidable in spite of having a decent compaction since air and water out are being constrained out of the voids by the heaviness of the dam, subsequently causing solidification (Shaw, R Smout, I 2009). During compaction, equivalent exertion ought to be applied all through the dam to forestall differential settlement. The base compaction exertion ought not be under 95% of the Standard Maximum Dry Density (Department of Primary Industries and Water 2008). The solidness of the bank relies to a great extent upon its capacity to oppose shear pressure which originates from inside applied loads, for example, the heaviness of the dirt and the dike inclines, and remotely applied loads, for example, store and tremor loads. As referenced before, more extreme slants can be received for granular soils since they are progressively steady. Conversely, a gentler slant should be applied for homogenous material with low penetrability. Figure 1. Cross area of an earth dam 2.4 Spillway Spillway assumes a significant job in earth dam since it permits unreasonable water to stream without overtopping the dam divider. There are two kinds of spillway to be specific the cut spillway (Figure 2) and regular spillway. Figure 2. The situation of a cut spillway So as to lessen water speed and in this manner limit disintegration, a delicate incline for the spillway must be given. Be that as it may, for steep slant, free stones or geotextile can be given to lessen disintegration. Aside from that, satisfactory limit of the spillway must be given to forestall overtopping and to empower the spillway to adequately deal with run-off. 3. Development ON EARTH DAMS Stripping Natural soil and vegetation must be expelled from the territory that will secured by the dam base. The expelled natural soil are amassed and utilized on the downstream slant of the fill. Key channel Key channel which is otherwise called cutoff channel is exhumed beneath the base of the fill to at least three feet deep for dam with 10 to 12 feet stature. The key channel is remembered for the dam configuration to tie down the dam to the base material and to forestall drainage under the fill. Preoccupation burrow Preoccupation channels are exhumed before the dam can be developed. This passage regularly fixed with concrete. The passage is worked around the dam development region at one side of the valley. In the drill openings, touchy materials are put and impacting will happens. The dirt or broken stone is then expelled. The means are rehashed until the passage is finished. Figure : Building a redirection channel In Figure, after the dam development is finished, the redirection channel is shut o permit the lake to start filling. Figure : Closure of redirection burrow Cofferdam In summer, the development on redirecting the stream begins when the waterway levels are low. At the upstream of the upstream of the fundamental dam development region, little dam which is additionally called as cofferdam are assembled. It is manufactured utilizing earth-moving hardware. The cofferdam will goes about as a hindrance to the waterway and the water will stream to the preoccupation burrows. The subsequent cofferdam will be assembled downstream of the primary dam development territory. At this territory, the cofferdam will forestall the stream to stream again into the development zone. Figure : Cofferdams go about as hindrances to the waterway Establishment Grouting Grouting comprises of lines or a line of openings that are penetrated into the dam establishment. The sorts of establishment grouting are drape and combination grouting. Blind grouting Blind grouting comprises of a solitary line of gout gaps that are bored and grouted in arrangement by packer testing to the base of the porous stone or to a profundity that adequate pressure driven inclinations are accomplished (Fell et al 2005). In view of Figure, essential gaps are bored first. The last gap dispersing will ordinarily be 1.5m or 4m, yet in addition might be as close as 0.5m (Fell et al 2005). This methodology permits authority over the proficiency of the window ornament grouting. Figure : Curtain and combination grouting (Fell et al, 2005) Figure :Grouting downstage with packer (WRC, 1981) Fill development Earth dam is normally built from impenetrable material which is dirt or mud based material. The development materials, taken from the encompassing zone must be set and compacted on a level plane in the fill. Dry soil are generally included with dampness and compaction hardware, for example, a sheepsfoot packer used to get the correct compaction. The development began by filling the cutoff channel with all around compacted material and six inch layers is included until the most extreme stature is gotten. The highest point of the dam at the focal point of the draw is normally constructed 10 percent higher than the structure to permit settlement of the fill. In view of Figure, a riparian funnel is set through the base of the fill and an ice free valve is put on the riparian channel. This funnel and valve framework work is to permit water to be discharged downstream to other water storerooms during water deficiencies. Figure : Elevation perspective on dam 4. Expected FAILURES OF EARTH DAMS Potential disappointments o
Saturday, August 22, 2020
Sommers Essay Example | Topics and Well Written Essays - 750 words
Sommers - Essay Example Thinking about these angles, I think Sommer is a little exact about me as even I face problems while thinking regarding assurance. However, luckily just at uncommon occasions, I accept, have I been in circumstances that have made me vulnerable to make sure good judgments.à Sommer has proposed that grown-ups, particularly instructors ought to improve the youthââ¬â¢s information and appreciation of virtues and they should direct the adolescent into having faith in these qualities and standards. ââ¬Å"Teachers with uprightness are seen as ethically solid models for youngsters to followâ⬠thus I accept that educators assume a huge job in trim the childrenââ¬â¢s character and good conduct. ââ¬Å"Moral Conservatismâ⬠is the thing that she thinks the general public needs. She accepts that individuals live in an ethical situation and that they should regard and safeguard it. She underlines the need to esteem and regard the conventions that we have acquired. She additionall y needs to energize the establishments, which advance good lessons alongside scholastics. The article altogether has a fascinating intrigue to it. It doesn't present realities in an exhausting manner like most papers do. Be that as it may, what intrigued me the most is the anecdote about the radicals as I am going over it just because. Additionally her expressions, for example, gap in the ethical zone, social texture and so forth appear to be exceptional and one of a kind things. I am appreciative for being given this task, as it has helped me learn new realities and has enlivened me to be progressively dependable towards my morals.
Thursday, August 20, 2020
Couchamarans and Carboats
Couchamarans and Carboats In my last entry, I left you with this teaser: I will reveal the #1 place to watch the fireworks in my next entry. Without further ado 1. From a homemade floating vehicle on the Charles River. Enterprising MIT students and alums often will create special boats for the occasion of the July 4th fireworks. Some of my friends have gone the extra mile. In 1876, MIT alum Nathanael Herreshoff created a revolutionary design for a catamaran. In 2003, Scott Johnston 02 had another revolutionary idea the Couchamaran. The Couchamaran is just what it sounds like a sofa on pontoons. Couchamaran image courtesy Scott Johnston This year, Scott, former Admissions Officer Amrys Williams 02, and a team of MIT alums and other folks embarked on an even more ambitious project: converting a 1967 Chevy Bel Air into a boat. Before image of the 67 Bel Air courtesy Amrys Williams Scott doing some welding; image courtesy Amrys Williams Amrys and Scott, doing some door work; image courtesy Amrys Williams Unfortunately, the State Police again got involved, and the maiden voyage of the carboat has been delayed. But sail it will. These projects are the kind of awesomeness that make me glad to be at MIT (not to mention projects like this). For an inspiring and entertaining read, I highly recommend the in-depth stories of both vessels: The Couchamaran Converting a 1967 Chevy Bel Air into a boat p.s. Ive just been informed that Ben scooped me on this topic by a couple hours. I think he has my office bugged!
Sunday, May 24, 2020
Leadership Styles Of Mohandas Gandhi - 2209 Words
For ages world leaders have practiced different styles of leadership and they have been successful in accomplishing many things from regional peace to world wars. Whether be political, tyrannical, or religious, world leaders from generations past to current all-share similarities and differences in their leadership styles. World leaders have built respect and trust from developed personalities or communication styles to motivate and inspire others into action. All leaders can learn from past success and mistakes of any world leader. In this paper we are going to look at the practices and leadership styles of Mohandas Gandhi and a brief comparison and contrast of leadership styles to Fidel Castro. Mohandas Gandhi Mohandas Gandhi was born in 1869 in the Bombay region of Porbandar, Gujarat (DuToit, 1996). He is known as one of the greatest leaders from India and is said to be the father of the Indian Independence Movement. Gandhi did not become a spiritual and political leader overnight and was influenced by a number of events throughout his life. From an unlavished childhood, Gandhi was able to attend law school in London. This was once step in the direction of his quest for morality and humility in society. After graduating law school, Gandhi practiced law in South Africa where he quickly realized the discrimination against Indians in South Africa. One day he was booted from a passenger train because he refused to sit 3rd class because he paid for a 1st class ticket. ThisShow MoreRelatedEvaluating Historical Views Of Leadership Paper LDR1080 Words à |à 5 Pagesï » ¿ Evaluating Historical Views of Leadership James Rankin University of Phoenix Evaluating Historical Views of Leadership The process of evaluating historical aspects of leadership involved critically analyzing the commonalities and disparities among a group of influential leaders, such as Thomas Carlyle, Mohandas Gandhi, Niccolo Machiavelli and W.E.B Du Bois. Carlyle (1795-1881), a Scottish historian emphasized the importance of heroism that required men to be subordinated to the commanderRead MoreWhat Makes A Hero?1722 Words à |à 7 Pagesthemself heroes. Being a hero means loving what you do. It means getting up in the morning, ready to help people in any way possible, everyday. Mohandas Gandhi is a hero because he was helpful, had leadership and determination. 1918, World War I is in force and is the main focus, as India is trying to gain independence from Great Britain. Mohandas Gandhi was born on October 2, 1869 in Porbandar, India (Ryan). He died on January 30, 1948 in Delhi (Nanda). He lived a pretty good life, ended it whenRead MoreGandhi : A Leader Of India s Movement1186 Words à |à 5 PagesMohandas Gandhi was born in Porbandar, the present-day state of Gujarat in India, in the year 1869. He was raised by his father and his exceedingly religious mother who worshipped the Hindu god Vishnu and was influenced by Jainism, a religion that practiced self-discipline and nonviolence. Gandhi grew up exercising these same religions and followed Jainism to the point where he fasted and meditated regularly, practiced nonviolence, and was a vegetarian. These values that he grew up with becameRead MoreMohandas Gandhi : A Of Gandhi s Leadership Essay1778 Words à |à 8 PagesMohandas to Mahatma: A Glimpse of Gandhiââ¬â¢s Leadership Justin Hussey Western Kentucky University Mohandas to Mahatma: A Glimpse of Gandhiââ¬â¢s Leadership Mohandas K. Gandhi was born and raised in Porbandar, India on October 2, 1869 into a family of a privileged caste (Gandhi Desai, 1927). He was raised by a father who was the Chief Minister of Porbandar and a mother of great devotion to the Hindu religion, and he was given thorough educational opportunity, which led to his attainmentRead MoreLeadership Ethics : Martin Luther King, Mahatma Gandhi And Jack Welch933 Words à |à 4 Pagesthat there is no single formula for leadership, and it will be best understood from multiple perspectives (Shriberg and Shriberg, 2011). We also accept the fact that every leader leads differently. Our team has chosen three exemplary leaders of all time ââ¬â Martin Luther King, Mahatma Gandhi and Jack Welch. Each one of them has exhibited a great amount of leadership skills and up to this day are used as examples in our current globalised economics. Their leadership has shaped countries and their influenceRead MoreNonviolence Movement : Is It Acceptable For People Throughout The World?1150 Words à |à 5 Pagesactivists in the history of the world is Mohandas Gandhi, who made a big contribution to Indianââ¬â¢s freedom. He is one of the famous people that my primary school teacher used to talk about. Mohandas Gandhiwas born on October 2, 1869in a merchant caste family inIndia. He studied law in London andwent to South Africain 1893. He spent 20 years there struggling and fighting against the discrimination(Mahatma Gandhi, 2015).Different from the normal hero image, Gandhi looks so vulnerable. It is kind of hardRead MoreLeadership Styles : Nelson Mandela And Mahatma Gand hi s Peace Movement1209 Words à |à 5 PagesUnderstanding the power of two historical leaders using different leadership styles offers a foundation and direction that can be used in future conflicts to evolve positive change. Nelson Mandela and Mahatma Gandhi exemplified to the world that when disharmony shows its ugly face, there can be other ways to fight for change. Mandelaââ¬â¢s efforts in the South African Apartheid beginning in 1948 and ending in 1994, chose forceful recognition while Gandhi working in the Peace Movement beginning in 1893 and endingRead MoreGandhi : One Of The Greatest Leaders Of Our Time1301 Words à |à 6 PagesGandhi: One of the Greatest Leaders of Our Time Sarah Pepe Ã¢â¬Æ' The leadership that will be discussed in this paper is that of Gandhi. The goal of this paper is to show the positive qualities he possessed as well as the beneficial actions that he performed as a leader to his people. He proves to be a moral servant leader who is a positive example of what leadership should be. The organization of this paper is as follows; the biography of Gandhi, his achievements, an analysis of his servant leadershipRead MoreMahatma Gandhi As A Pragmatism1136 Words à |à 5 PagesMahatma Gandhi (Mohandas Karamchand Ghandi) was born on 2nd October 1869 at Porbander Gujarat. Ghandi was born into a middle-class family, he had his early education at Rajkot, he married to Kasturba. Then he went to England for higher studies. He was an average student in his early childhood. He returned to India as barrister. He went to south Africa and did practice as a lawyer. He fought for the rights of Indians living there. He left his practice and came back to India. He had work ed for theRead MoreVladimir Lenin And The Russian Revolution1297 Words à |à 6 Pagestake away from Castroââ¬â¢s revolution is that he is aiming to gain independence from the United States. Mahatma Gandhi was a civil rights leader and is seen as the leader of the Indian Independence movement. This document was compiled by other scholars and is of Gandhiââ¬â¢s views on revolution. Gandhi envisions a revolution unlike that of Castro in that he sees one of nonviolence.(Gandhi, ââ¬Å"All Men are My Brothersâ⬠, page 110) It is not that he is against war altogether. In He envisions one prefers
Wednesday, May 13, 2020
Cultural Exchange Classroom Benefits For Students And...
Cultural Exchange in the Classroom: Benefits For Students and Teachers Ideally kids who are expected to become multilingual would be placed in classrooms where a teacher can speak their native language(s) and effectively communicate with the kids and the parents thereby validating the home language. Of course this isnââ¬â¢t always an option, and it surly wasnââ¬â¢t an option for my small town school. However, I believe that if the teachers could have handled the classrooms with a softer touch. By not attaching punishment to a cultural difference I think that the organic cultural exchange that begun when all the kids were allowed to speak freely (language wise, away) would have continued. As I stated, the punishing didnââ¬â¢t begin until a couple of years into grade school. When things changed I think it limited empathy development because suddenly there was a noticeable difference. This difference, I feel, limited all of the children because it made the English speakers uncomfortable with a difference and therefore stopped many of us from learning more about the other kidsââ¬â¢ cultures and it made the Non-native English speakers feel resentful (I use to sit next at the same table as a few kids and when they were punished they would mutter ââ¬â in English- that it wasnââ¬â¢t fair) and a resentful student is not likely to learn from the teacher regardless of the information being taught. If the language and the culture(s) attached to it would have been acknowle dged instead of dismissed, theShow MoreRelatedTeaching Profession1679 Words à |à 7 PagesLesson 1: The National Competency-Based Teacher Standards Synapse Strengtheners Tell something about the teacher in the classroom and in the community by completing this acronym: T ââ¬â TRAINER E ââ¬â EDUCATOR A ââ¬â ADVISOR C ââ¬â COMMITTED H ââ¬â HONEST E - EXPERT R - RESPONSIBLE Reflect on the teacher as she goes about her task in the classroom and in the community. In what way is he/she ... A piece of iron ââ¬â A teacher who is strong and firm. A well - A planter ââ¬â A teacher who is interested in his/her studetnsRead MoreMulticultural Education Should Promote Cultural Consciousness, Empower Intercultural Awareness931 Words à |à 4 Pagessafe and a productive full access learning experience for all students equally with no consideration for race, color and background, Increasing awareness of global issues. It should enhance cultural consciousness, empower intercultural awareness, teach multiple historical perspectives, promote critical thinking and prevent prejudice and discrimination. On another note, teachers should benefit from multicultural education to help students to develop positive self-image, offer equal educational accessRead MoreMotivation Is Not Always Present For The Classroom At Milby High School1642 Words à |à 7 PagesIntroduction Every accomplishment, small or large, comes from the motivation one has to succeed in their goals. Motivation is not always present in the classroom, for example in Mrs. Garciaââ¬â¢s classroom at Milby High School. For me, knowing Spanish was a given since most of my family speaks it. Although this is the case, I never used Spanish with them because they can understand English. For this reason, I only knew the basics and couldnââ¬â¢t hold a conversation with it. My parents always wanted meRead MoreThe American Value Of Asking Questions1303 Words à |à 6 Pagesculture shock is felt by international students studying abroad every day. For the Chinese students studying in America, they face a large number of problematic instances of culture shock which impact their ability to earn a quality education in the United States such as classroom culture. Specifically, Chinese students make a point not to ask questions in and out of the classroom because of how they were raised. In an article posted to Indiana Universityââ¬â¢s student orientation website (ââ¬Å"3 Big DifferencesRead MoreThe Is The Word For Hospitality Essay1140 Words à |à 5 Pagesnature. My mastersââ¬â¢ degree in international peace and conflict resolution taught me that the inclusivity of Senegalese culture is an important factor for resolving wars and disputes. While having the joy of teaching English, I want to also learn about cultural characteristics that explain its peaceful nature and how they can be encouraged in other places. I entered the education field five years ago out of my love of learning. I started teaching in college and after graduation through theRead MoreEssay about The Role of the Family in a Childs Education 1245 Words à |à 5 Pagesbiological father, who died when I was 19 and still a technical resident of the home (a college student), my biological mother, who is still alive, and one brother, approximately two and a half years younger than me. 3. Make a list of the ways your parents were involved in your childcare/school experience. My parents were involved in my school experience in a very hands-on manner. As I was raised by teachers, my household was one of constant learning and exploration. My parents volunteered as muchRead MoreThroughout This Cultural Anthropology Class, One Consistent1451 Words à |à 6 PagesThroughout this Cultural Anthropology class, one consistent theme was the concept of the state. This is essential because the state is one of the core societal structures that influences people. In the context of anthropology, the state is studied as an institution because it holds a substantial amount of power over its citizens. Additionally, the role of the state is perceived in different ways depending on the culture. In this article, entitled ââ¬Å"Ambiguous States: Confucius Institutes and ChineseRead MoreNurses With Good Communication Skills1336 Words à |à 6 PagesRichmond, 2008). 2. Identify the three types of teacher misbehaviors and explain each. How does each of these types of misbehavior affect students? How can a teacher use humor in the classroom without it becoming a form of offensiveness? The three types of teacher misbehaviors, according to Wrench, McCroskey, Richmond (2008), are incompetence, offensiveness, and indolence. The authors state that Incompetence is the extent to which a teacher doesnââ¬â¢t know the content of instruction and/or isRead MoreCommunication Skills And Language Proficiency1546 Words à |à 7 PagesField Experience AK is a nine year old ELL student in Mrs. Tobinââ¬â¢s fourth grade classroom. He was five years old and entering Kindergarten when his family moved to the United States of America from Macedonia. This means heââ¬â¢s been in the country for four years and he has received all of his formal schooling here in the United States, and as a result he has never learned to read or write in his native Macedonian language. AK speaks English at home with his mother, but she has a very distinct accentRead MoreExperiential Language Module On Indonesian1609 Words à |à 7 Pagesdecide for yourself, whether or not it s a forecast you would like to see happen. Signal #1: We will all be language experts and teachers I have noticed a recent shift of responsibility of instruction from the teacher to other stakeholders, (e.g., students, members of the community) The teacherââ¬â¢s role is transforming from the only language expert in the classroom to more of a language coach and instructional designer. When I was at the Future of Educational Technology Conference in Orlando,
Wednesday, May 6, 2020
Yahoo and Alibaba Free Essays
3. How has the strategic value of Yahoo to Alibaba changed over time since 2005? 2005 was a tough year for Alibaba. Because of the US$100 million investment in China by eBay, Alibaba and its subsidiary ââ¬â Taobao fell into a severe price war against eBay which hindered the profitability of the group and much more capital was needed for operational and technological improvement in order to win the battle. We will write a custom essay sample on Yahoo and Alibaba or any similar topic only for you Order Now Under this circumstance, Alibaba formed a partnership with Yahoo! Inc. Yahoo invested US$1 billion in Alibaba and transferred the ownership of Yahoo! China to Alibaba. In return, Yahoo got a 40% stake and 35% voting rights in Alibaba. Beside the cash injection, another reason for the initiation of the partnership was that Alibaba valued much on the importance of search engine for its e-commerce work. At that time, owing Yahoo! China was a competitive advantage of Alibaba against eBay. At that time, Yahoo had much strategic value to Alibaba due to its large capital base and technology to help Alibaba safeguard its market share under eBayââ¬â¢s attack. However, the operation of Yahoo! China under Alibaba was unsatisfactory. Since 2005, Yahoo! China has been losing its market share and lagging behind its rivals. Although Alibaba tried to re-orientate it as more business-oriented to grasp the market niche, the effort was in vain. The influence of Yahoo! China in the search engine market in China diminished. Hence, it failed to draw attention of potential customers of Alibaba and was not capable to bring enough benefit to Alibaba leading to a fall in strategic value of Yahoo!. Even for the parent of Yahoo! China ââ¬â Yahoo! Inc. , the story was more or less the same. The net income of Yahoo dropped 78% in the first quarter of 2009 which resulted in a massive layoff. Due to the low profitability, Yahoo formed a 10-year agreement with Microsoft. Under this contract, Yahoo had to adopt Microsoftââ¬â¢s search technology (Bing) instead of its own technology in all Yahooââ¬â¢s website. Similarly, Yahoo agreed to use Googleââ¬â¢s search engine in Yahoo! Japan (search ads platform). In other words, it surrendered its own searching technology which Alibaba valued most. Search engine is important to e-commerce companies. As many people use search engine like Google, Yahoo, Bing etc. to get appropriate results of their queries, a smart search engine can allocate much traffic to the e-commerce website by placing their website on the top of result pages so that potential customers can be created. Now that Yahoo lost its own search engine, it may only be able to provide support to Alibaba under Microsoftââ¬â¢s constraints which was unlikely to be what Alibaba wants and thus lowering Yahooââ¬â¢s strategic value. Unlike the poor performance of Yahoo, the profit of Alibaba surged after the partnership. Apart from being the market leader in China, Alibaba started to expand its business overseas in 2008. For instance, it formed a partnership with Informedia India Limited; set up Alibaba Japan, a joint venture with Softbank to foray and launched AliExpress in US etc. All these new strategies had no correlation with its partner ââ¬â Yahoo! Inc. These revealed that Alibaba was keen on developing new relationships with overseas companies to enter foreign markets. Due to the poor relationship with Yahoo, Alibaba no longer seek cooperation with it and the strategic value of Yahoo further diminished. Because of the poor performance of Yahoo! China, Alibaba started to provide Sogou (a local search engine) in addition to Bing for its customers. This probably made Yahooââ¬â¢s market share further decrease as customers no longer need to choose Yahoo! Chinaââ¬â¢s Etao as the only access to Alibaba and they can opt for Sogou Shopping instead. Even Alibaba loses Yahoo! China, it still has its new channel to reach its potential customers. It seems that Yahoo has lost its role as an exclusive search engine of Alibaba and lost its strategic value meanwhile. How to cite Yahoo and Alibaba, Essay examples
Tuesday, May 5, 2020
Letter From Birmingham Jail Summary free essay sample
The intended audience for this piece of writing is a number of religious clergymen who were at one of Dr. Kings protests in Birmingham and later, harshly criticized him for it. He also had written this letter to all of the Americans, to proclaim to them that injustice is everywhere in the country, not just in Birmingham. In his letter Dr. King writes ââ¬Å"I must make two honest confessions to you, my Christiana and Jewish brothersâ⬠(King 3) and ââ¬Å"injustice anywhere is the threat to injustice everywhereâ⬠(King 1). Dr. Kingââ¬â¢s purpose for this letter was to address the criticism from the public and from the white religious leaders. He says ââ¬Å"It was his response to a public statement of concern and caution issued by eight white religious leaders of the southâ⬠(King 1).There is evidence that Dr. King is not only writing a letter, answers the questions of the public. We will write a custom essay sample on Letter From Birmingham Jail Summary or any similar topic specifically for you Do Not WasteYour Time HIRE WRITER Only 13.90 / page He says ââ¬Å"You may well ask, ââ¬Ëwhy direct action?ââ¬â¢Ã¢â¬ (King 3). Throughout his letter, Dr. King uses powerful words and strong language to deliver his impactful message. For example, ââ¬Å"the sting darts of segregationâ⬠(King 2). He uses this phrase when he is trying to explain what segregation feels like to the audience members who have never experienced it. On page two, he also uses the words ââ¬Å"hate-filledâ⬠(King 2) to describe policemenââ¬â¢s attitudes towards people of color. This paints the audience a picture of how cruel law enforcement was at that time. The tone of Dr. Kingââ¬â¢s letter is an aid in persuading the audience that he is reliable and trustworthy. King uses a gentle tone when he states ââ¬Å"I must confess that over that last few years I have been gravely disappointed with the white moderateâ⬠(King 3). He doesnââ¬â¢t use words like ââ¬Å"angryâ⬠or ââ¬Å"enragedâ⬠. This helps the audience to understand that he is a peaceful protester and can be trusted. King also states that his campaign is intended to be nonviolent. He then lists the steps on how he plans to keep it that way. This shows the audience that he is a smart man with a plan versus some outraged lunatic just angry with the world. Dr. King was giving the people evidence. Dr. King appeals to the audienceââ¬â¢s emotions extremely well. His goal is to communicate to the audience and to the clergymen the pain that comes with a colored man. He emphasizes segregation and feeling inferior to another human because of the color of his skin. Dr. King says ââ¬Å"It is easy for those who have never felt the stinging darts of segregationâ⬠(King 2). King also tries to connect with the audienceââ¬â¢s emotion when he talks about his daughter. ââ¬Å"When you suddenly find your tongue twisted and your speech stammering as you seek to explain to your six-year-old daughter why she cannot go to the public amusement park that just has been advertised on televisionâ⬠(King 3).
Wednesday, April 1, 2020
Sunday, March 8, 2020
The Impact Of Employee Involvement And Participation On Organization Performance The WritePass Journal
The Impact Of Employee Involvement And Participation On Organization Performance Abstract The Impact Of Employee Involvement And Participation On Organization Performance ). Forth, J. and Millward, N. (2001). ââ¬Å"The impact of unions on pay levels in lower-skilled jobsâ⬠. National Institute Economic Review. 176, pp. 76-90. Gonzales, M. (2009). Workerââ¬â¢s involvement at the workplace and job quality in Europe. Edinburgh: RECWOWE Publications. Grimsrud, B, and Kvinge, T. (2010). Productivity Puzzles ââ¬â should employee participation be an issue? Nordic Journal of Political Economy, 36, pp. 139-167. Guerro, S. and Barraud-Didier, V. (2004). High-involvement practices and performance f French firms. International Journal of Human Resources Management. 15(8). pp.1408-1423. Hyman, J B. Mason (1995). Managing Employee Involvement and Participation. London: Sage. Jones, D., Kalmi, P. and Kauhanen, A. (2006). How does employee involvement stack up? The effects of Human Resources Management policies on performance in retail firm. New York: Cornell University ILR School. Kanter, R. (1982). Dilemma of Managing Participation. Organizational Dynamics. (summer). pp. 5-27. Lawler, E. (1990). High Involvement Management. Participative Strategies for Improving Organizational Performance. San Francisco: Jossey-Bass Publishers. Marchington, M. (2005). ââ¬ËEmployee involvement: Patterns and explanationsââ¬â¢. In: (ed.) Harley, B.,à J. Hyman and P. Thompson Participation and democracy at work. Basingstoke: Palgrave Macmillan. Sesil, J. (1999). The impact of employee involvement and group incentives on performance in UK high technology establishments. New Jersey: School of Management and Labour Relations.
Thursday, February 20, 2020
Nursing Essay Example | Topics and Well Written Essays - 250 words - 6
Nursing - Essay Example ample, the following ones: freedom of taking initiatives, ability to take care of himself and of other people, ability to intervene in cases that a problem arises. All the above characteristics need to exist in nurses, a fact that verifies the relationship between nursing and philosophy. The environment is necessarily related to nursing. The term environment, as a concept related to the philosophy but also to nursing, can have a series of meanings, depending on the subject to which environment is related (Cody & Cody 2011). For example, for patients, environment can refer to their social environment, including family and friends, but also to their physical environment, as, for example, the health care setting where they have been admitted for a specific treatment (Cody & Cody 2011, p.149). However, environment can have another aspect: it can be used for describing the world in general. For example, in the context of utilitarianism, environment can have such meaning, indicating the obligation of a person to help people around him (Cody & Cody 2011, p.149). In nursing, the use of the term environment can be quite critical, especially if the specific term is given an explanation aligning with the principles of utilitarianism, as described above. Different approaches have been used for explaining health. Most commonly, the term health is used for describing the physical or mental status of a person (Cody & Cody 2011). However, the above term can be also used in order to reflect the differentiation of a person from his environment (Cody & Cody 2011). For example, when a person responds to a particular event in a different way than most people would respond, then it can be assumed that the particular person has a health problem, a mental problem that prevents him from reacting as expected. The term health has another aspect: it can be used for describing the potential of a person to face a health problem. More specifically, for certain people health is of critical
Tuesday, February 4, 2020
Rate of Adaption Essay Example | Topics and Well Written Essays - 2500 words
Rate of Adaption - Essay Example It has attracted interest of the world due to easy growth factors and highly nutritious element. It offers best protein composition including lysine, histidine, cystine and methionine. Cereal starch has bigger size granules as compared to quinoa starch granule. It is more viscous. The plant is best suitable for industrial use. The plant is comprised of saponins, which is a bitter compound and these can easily be removed by abrasion and washing before using it. A study showed that plant could grow well in less fertile soil (Galway, 1992). Chenopodium Quinoa has one crucial component of interest, that is, the lysine content, which is not a common nutrient in other plant species. The growth of this annual herb produces panicle, which contains some small seeds called achenes (Jacobsen, 1997). The seeds produced are round, small and flat with pigmentation ranging from red to white. The color of the seeds varies from one ecosystem to another because of the climatic disparities in the regions where it is grown. It has an extensive root system predominantly subjugated by taproots that support the branchy stem. The plant grows to heights of between sixty to one hundred and twenty five centimeters. The food crop is found in areas with harsh environmental conditions, such as high mountain plains, relatively moderate fertile valley areas, coastal forests, and alkaline areas (Burton & Bo, 2005). In this case the desired location is Umatilla County, which is one of the agriculturally rich areas in the State. The predominant environment in the Hermiston area changes rapidly; hence the need to grow resistant crops that are not dependent on stable environmental conditions (Van de Fliert & Ann, 2002). Moreover since the IPCC (1990) was published, extensive efforts have been brought in to help our agriculture adapt to the climate change because the latter has deep biophysical impacts on crop yield, soil and water resources (Antle, 2009) and for this reason quinoa is
Monday, January 27, 2020
Natrol Biotin Supplements: Uses and Effects
Natrol Biotin Supplements: Uses and Effects Natrol biotin Natrol Biotin is a supplement that is taken to increase Vitamin B7 in the body. Biotin and vitamin H are other terms used to identify this vitamin. Biotin is sourced from different foods and is needed in small amounts in the body. This is one reason why vitamin B7 deficiency is rare. The supplement is administered to prevent as well as treat a vitamin B7 deficiency. The deficiency can be brought on by pregnancy, malnutrition, long term tube feeding as well as rapid weight loss. It is also used to treat hair loss, weak nails, mild cases of depression, type two diabetes and skin rash in infants. Biotin is part of a large group of vitamins that fall under thee B complex classification (Ehrlich, 2011). Such vitamins aid the body to break down carbohydrates into energy that the body then uses as fuel. They also help the body to burn fats and protein. Without adequate biotin, the body is unable to metabolize amino acids, fats, carbohydrates as well as the building blocks of protein (Ehrlich, 2011). The supplement is included in many cosmetic products for hair and skin as it is believed to strengthen nails and hair. Vitamin B is generally not stored in the body as it is water soluble. However, there are bacteria in the digestive tract that can reconstitute it. The vitamin is also considered as a key nutrient for normal development of the fetus. As such, it is considered as a key nutrient for expectant mothers (Ehrlich, 2011). Similar to any nutritional supplement, there are guidelines on how it should be administered as well as notable side effects that can arise from the use or abuse of the supplements. Studies have been conducted to understand how this vitamin reacts with other substances when ingested and a number of effects have been noted. Similar to other modes of treatment, it is clear that this supplement has numerous benefits when administered in the right way. However, that not withstanding, cases do arise when these same supplements do more harm than good to a person. However, this is very rare. As such, it is necessary that one ensures that they seek professional medical advice should they feel that they need to use Natrol Biotin to combat hair loss, brittle nails or any other condition that the supplement is known to offer relief. Purported use and health claims A question that begs to be answered in here is why people take Biotin. From the introduction, it is clear that biotin plays an important role in the body. Vitamin B7 helps the skin maintain a healthy glow, strengthens nails, and prevents hair loss. It also supports health of the nerves, cells, metabolism and digestive tract (Karriem-Norwood, 2013). It has also been found to be an effective treatment on some types of nerve illnesses that arise from diabetes and kidney failure (Karriem-Norwood, 2013). Supplements such as Natrol Biotin have been subjected to controlled clinical studies to determine how effective they are for certain health conditions. Early clinical research has indicated that the supplement helps to decrease insulin resistance in people suffering from type two diabetes (Karriem-Norwood, 2013). However, additional research needs to be done as no conclusive position has been reached on its use for treatment. Other uses for biotin that lack support in terms of adequate clinical research include treatment of conditions such as hair loss, hepatitis, depression and cradle cap (Karriem-Norwood, 2013). The supplement is however known to help strengthen brittle nails. Biotin is crucial for normal embryonic growth and as such is considered as a key nutrient for expectant mothers. As earlier highlighted, Biotin is a nutrient that is naturally available in food. As such, most people do not need the supplements. In addition, the human body recycles biotin that has already been used. As such, a deficiency in vitamin B7 is rare (Karriem-Norwood, 2013). Why use biotin supplements The rationale for the use of biotin supplements is to treat and prevent a deficiency. However, considering that this is a rare deficiency to have, in most cases, the supplement is used to treat conditions such as lethargy, mild cases of depression, nerve disorders and delusions. Some evidence exists that mild biotin deficiency can be caused by cigarette smoking. As the supplement is known to react with other drugs, it is advised that one seeks medical advice before they choose to take biotin supplements. He Institute of Medicine provides a table that indicates the appropriate dosage for different categories. Infants ranging from zero to 6 months need five micrograms (mcgs) per day (WebMD, 2015). Those aged between seven and twelve months need six mcgs per day. Children between ages one and eight require eight mcgs daily. Those aged between nine and thirteen require twenty micrograms daily while those aged between fourteen and eighteen years need twenty-five micrograms per day (WebMD, 2015). Adults generally require thirty micrograms per day. However, for breastfeeding women, the advisable intake is thirty-five micrograms (WebMD, 2015). While it is clear that the body requires very few doses of biotin per day, no research evidence suggests that a high intake poses a health risk. However, cases have arisen where natrol biotin users have reported experiencing negative side effects such as a skin rash. Some of the signs of a biotin overdose include lower levels of certain vitamins in the body, slower release of insulin and high blood sugar levels (Oliver, 2015). Very few studies have been done to evaluate biotin largely because a deficiency is extremely rare. As such, many of the studies that have been carried out are based on case reports or weak evidence. There is inconclusive evidence to suggest that biotin supplements such as natrol biotin improve hair loss as well as strengthen the toe and fingernails. The vitamin supplement has however been paired up with topical clobetasol and zinc to treat alopecia areata (WebMD, 2015). This is largely attributed to its role as part of the building blocks of protein. The patient given biotin supplements that are to be administered orally as well as a cream containing clobetasol propionate which is applied to the skin (WebMD, 2015). Though the evidence available is to some degree insufficient, cases have shown that biotin, on its own alters blood sugar levels in people suffering from type two diabetes. It has also been noted to reduce diabetic nerve pain (WebMD, 2015). Some evidence also shows that when it is combined with Chromium, it helps to reduce blood sugar levels in people suffering from type 2 diabetes. Earlier evidence has also shown that the same combination helps reduce high cholesterol for such patients (WebMD, 2015). Biotin might also increase the thickness of nails. It is used in cosmetic products for hair and skin at varying concentrations that range up to as high as 0.6% (Fiume, 2001). The vitamin is also known to absorb some ultra violet radiation. Its high solubility in water results in it being metabolized and expelled in urine. No known side effects have been found based on tests conducted. The tests that have been carried out include intradermal injection of the vitamin in guinea pig skin, with the biotin being at a pH of 7.3 failed to produce transient ocular irritation when it was given to rabbits. Oral administration of the vitamin to mice did not result in any differences between control and treatment groups (Fiume, 2001). However, in one study, where individuals were exposed to a biotin every day, evidence of urticarial reaction was found (Fiume, 2001). However, no parallel appearance of reaction was noted or the appearance of irritation as well as any other adverse reactions. As suc h, it has been concluded that biotin is safe to use in cosmetic products (Fiume, 2001). Summary and Conclusion Natrola Biotin is not a drug but a nutritional supplement for vitamin B7 which is otherwise known as Biotin. Biotin is an important nutrient as it contributes to the healthy appearance of skin and hair. As such, it is one of the ingredients in cosmetic products. The human body does not need this nutrient in large doses which is why cases of deficiency are extremely rare. The man reasons why people take the supplement is to treat hair loss and brittle nails. It is also used together with other products to treat some diseases such as type 2 diabetes and kidney failure. Expectant mothers are the only category of people that require the highest supply of the nutrient per day. It has also been known to be used to treat skin rash that at times occurs in children. So far, evidence is insufficient concerning its use for treatment of a number of diseases that it apparently helps to alleviate. However, from the role the nutrient plays in the body of breaking down carbohydrates into energy that the body then uses as fuel, and in aiding in the break-down of fats and protein, it is clear that it is a vital component in the human body. It is also known to aid the body to metabolize amino acids, fats, carbohydrates as well as the building blocks of protein (Ehrlich, 2011). References Ehrlich, S. D. (2011, June 26). Vitamin H (Biotin). Retrieved from umm.edu Fiume, M. (2001). Final Report on the Safety Assessment of Biotin. International Journal of Toxicology, 45-61. Karriem-Norwood, V. (2013, June 5). Biotin. Retrieved from webmd.com: http://www.webmd.com/vitamins-and-supplements/lifestyle-guide-11/supplement-guide-biotin Oliver, D. (2015, February 8). Why You Should Be Cautious Of Taking Biotin For Your Hair, Skin Nails. Retrieved from huffingtonpost.com: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/09/30/biotin-hair-skin-nails_n_4016804.html?ir=IndiaadsSiteOverride=in WebMD. (2015). Biotin Uses and Effectiveness. Retrieved from webmd.com: http://www.webmd.com/vitamins-supplements/ingredientmono-313-biotin.aspx?activeingredientid=313activeingredientname=biotin
Sunday, January 19, 2020
Aricept :: Drugs Health Alzheimers Disease Essays
Aricept What is Alzheimerââ¬â¢s disease? Alzheimerââ¬â¢s disease is a disease in which the memory, judgment, and thought processes are impaired. The moods and personality of a sufferer may also be affected. The symptoms may progress slowly and come-and-go. (http://www.healingwell.com/alzheimers/info.htm) This disease affects the cholinergic functions in the brain. It causes a deficiency of cholinergic neuron transmission. Thus, the memory of the Alzheimerââ¬â¢s patient is impaired. The drug donepezil hydrochloride enhances the cholinergic functions. As the amount of functioning neurons decreases, the drugââ¬â¢s effectiveness decreases. (http://pfizer.com/hml/piââ¬â¢s/ariceptpi.html) What is Aricept? Aricept is a drug used to treat Alzheimerââ¬â¢s disease. It is available in tablet form and is considered to be in the drug sub-class of an acetylcholin-esterase inhibitor. Patients should start taking 5 mg of Aricept at bedtime. After four to six weeks, the dose can be increased to 10 mg/day. It is used to decrease the mild to moderate symptoms of the disease in an effort to reverse, reduce, or retard the mental and behavioral process of dementia. Aricept is not a cure for the disease, but it is a way to make it more manageable. (http://www.mayohealth.org/mayo/9804/htm/alztreat.htm) How does it work? Aricept is also known as donepezil hydrochloride and E2020. It is a reversible inhibitor of the enzyme acetyl cholinesterase, and has an empirical formula of C24H29NO3HCL . (pic. from Pfizer) The donepezil hydrochloride enhances cholinergic function by increasing acetylcholine though itââ¬â¢s inhibiting of acetyl cholinesterase. This effect is thought to lessen as the disease advances because fewer cholinergic neurons are functioning. Thus, donepezil does not alter the course of the dementing process; it just makes the dementia more tolerable. (http://pfizer.com/hml/piââ¬â¢s/ariceptpi.html) Is it effective? Aricept has been determined to be an effective treatment during its use. This is proved by the various clinical studies. The people at Pfizer Incorporated studied Aricept to determine if it was an effective treatment for Alzheimerââ¬â¢s disease. They conducted two randomized, double blind, placebo-controlled clinical investigations with Alzheimerââ¬â¢s patients. The ages of the participants ranged from 50 to 94 with a mean age of 73. The participants were 62% women and 38% men.
Saturday, January 11, 2020
Twilight 24. AN IMPASSE
24. AN IMPASSE My eyes opened to a bright, white light. I was in an unfamiliar room, a white room. The wall beside me was covered in long vertical blinds; over my head, the glaring lights blinded me. I was propped up on a hard, uneven bed ââ¬â a bed with rails. The pillows were flat and lumpy. There was an annoying beeping sound somewhere close by. I hoped that meant I was still alive. Death shouldn't be this uncomfortable. My hands were all twisted up with clear tubes, and something was taped across my face, under my nose. I lifted my hand to rip it off. ââ¬Å"No, you don't.â⬠And cool fingers caught my hand. ââ¬Å"Edward?â⬠I turned my head slightly, and his exquisite face was just inches from mine, his chin resting on the edge of my pillow. I realized again that I was alive, this time with gratitude and elation. ââ¬Å"Oh, Edward, I'm so sorry!â⬠ââ¬Å"Shhhh,â⬠he shushed me. ââ¬Å"Everything's all right now.â⬠ââ¬Å"What happened?â⬠I couldn't remember clearly, and my mind rebelled against me as I tried to recall. ââ¬Å"I was almost too late. I could have been too late,â⬠he whispered, his voice tormented. ââ¬Å"I was so stupid, Edward. I thought he had my mom.â⬠ââ¬Å"He tricked us all.â⬠ââ¬Å"I need to call Charlie and my mom,â⬠I realized through the haze. ââ¬Å"Alice called them. Ren?à ¦e is here ââ¬â well, here in the hospital. She's getting something to eat right now.â⬠ââ¬Å"She's here?â⬠I tried to sit up, but the spinning in my head accelerated, and his hand pushed me gently down onto the pillows. ââ¬Å"She'll be back soon,â⬠he promised. ââ¬Å"And you need to stay still.â⬠ââ¬Å"But what did you tell her?â⬠I panicked. I had no interest in being soothed. My mom was here and I was recovering from a vampire attack. ââ¬Å"Why did you tell her I'm here?â⬠ââ¬Å"You fell down two flights of stairs and through a window.â⬠He paused. ââ¬Å"You have to admit, it could happen.â⬠I sighed, and it hurt. I stared down at my body under the sheet, the huge lump that was my leg. ââ¬Å"How bad am I?â⬠I asked. ââ¬Å"You have a broken leg, four broken ribs, some cracks in your skull, bruises covering every inch of your skin, and you've lost a lot of blood. They gave you a few transfusions. I didn't like it ââ¬â it made you smell all wrong for a while.â⬠ââ¬Å"That must have been a nice change for you.â⬠ââ¬Å"No, I like how you smell.â⬠ââ¬Å"How did you do it?â⬠I asked quietly. He knew what I meant at once. ââ¬Å"I'm not sure.â⬠He looked away from my wondering eyes, lifting my gauze-wrapped hand from the bed and holding it gently in his, careful not to disrupt the wire connecting me to one of the monitors. I waited patiently for the rest. He sighed without returning my gaze. ââ¬Å"It was impossibleâ⬠¦ to stop,â⬠he whispered. ââ¬Å"Impossible. But I did.â⬠He looked up finally, with half a smile. ââ¬Å"I must love you.â⬠ââ¬Å"Don't I taste as good as I smell?â⬠I smiled in response. That hurt my face. ââ¬Å"Even better ââ¬â better than I'd imagined.â⬠ââ¬Å"I'm sorry,â⬠I apologized. He raised his eyes to the ceiling. ââ¬Å"Of all the things to apologize for.â⬠ââ¬Å"What should I apologize for?â⬠ââ¬Å"For very nearly taking yourself away from me forever.â⬠ââ¬Å"I'm sorry,â⬠I apologized again. ââ¬Å"I know why you did it.â⬠His voice was comforting. ââ¬Å"It was still irrational, of course. You should have waited for me, you should have told me.â⬠ââ¬Å"You wouldn't have let me go.â⬠ââ¬Å"No,â⬠he agreed in a grim tone, ââ¬Å"I wouldn't.â⬠Some very unpleasant memories were beginning to come back to me. I shuddered, and then winced. He was instantly anxious. ââ¬Å"Bella, what's wrong?â⬠ââ¬Å"What happened to James?â⬠ââ¬Å"After I pulled him off you, Emmett and Jasper took care of him.â⬠There was a fierce note of regret in his voice. This confused me. ââ¬Å"I didn't see Emmett and Jasper there.â⬠ââ¬Å"They had to leave the roomâ⬠¦ there was a lot of blood.â⬠ââ¬Å"But you stayed.â⬠ââ¬Å"Yes, I stayed.â⬠ââ¬Å"And Alice, and Carlisleâ⬠¦Ã¢â¬ I said in wonder. ââ¬Å"They love you, too, you know.â⬠A flash of painful images from the last time I'd seen Alice reminded me of something. ââ¬Å"Did Alice see the tape?â⬠I asked anxiously. ââ¬Å"Yes.â⬠A new sound darkened his voice, a tone of sheer hatred. ââ¬Å"She was always in the dark, that's why she didn't remember.â⬠ââ¬Å"I know. She understands now.â⬠His voice was even, but his face was black with fury. I tried to reach his face with my free hand, but something stopped me. I glanced down to see the IV pulling at my hand. ââ¬Å"Ugh.â⬠I winced. ââ¬Å"What is it?â⬠he asked anxiously ââ¬â distracted, but not enough. The bleakness did not entirely leave his eyes. ââ¬Å"Needles,â⬠I explained, looking away from the one in my hand. I concentrated on a warped ceiling tile and tried to breathe deeply despite the ache in my ribs. ââ¬Å"Afraid of a needle,â⬠he muttered to himself under his breath, shaking his head. ââ¬Å"Oh, a sadistic vampire, intent on torturing her to death, sure, no problem, she runs off to meet him. An IV, on the other handâ⬠¦Ã¢â¬ I rolled my eyes. I was pleased to discover that this reaction, at least, was pain-free. I decided to change the subject. ââ¬Å"Why are you here?â⬠I asked. He stared at me, first confusion and then hurt touching his eyes. His brows pulled together as he frowned. ââ¬Å"Do you want me to leave?â⬠ââ¬Å"No!â⬠I protested, horrified by the thought. ââ¬Å"No, I meant, why does my mother think you're here? I need to have my story straight before she gets back.â⬠ââ¬Å"Oh,â⬠he said, and his forehead smoothed back into marble. ââ¬Å"I came to Phoenix to talk some sense into you, to convince you to come back to Forks.â⬠His wide eyes were so earnest and sincere, I almost believed him myself. ââ¬Å"You agreed to see me, and you drove out to the hotel where I was staying with Carlisle and Alice ââ¬â of course I was here with parental supervision,â⬠he inserted virtuously, ââ¬Å"but you tripped on the stairs on the way to my room andâ⬠¦ well, you know the rest. You don't need to remember any details, though; you have a good excuse to be a little muddled about the finer points.â⬠I thought about it for a moment. ââ¬Å"There are a few flaws with that story. Like no broken windows.â⬠ââ¬Å"Not really,â⬠he said. ââ¬Å"Alice had a little bit too much fun fabricating evidence. It's all been taken care of very convincingly ââ¬â you could probably sue the hotel if you wanted to. You have nothing to worry about,â⬠he promised, stroking my cheek with the lightest of touches. ââ¬Å"Your only job now is to heal.â⬠I wasn't so lost to the soreness or the fog of medication that I didn't respond to his touch. The beeping of the monitor jumped around erratically ââ¬â now he wasn't the only one who could hear my heart misbehave. ââ¬Å"That's going to be embarrassing,â⬠I muttered to myself. He chuckled, and a speculative look came into his eye. ââ¬Å"Hmm, I wonderâ⬠¦Ã¢â¬ He leaned in slowly; the beeping noise accelerated wildly before his lips even touched me. But when they did, though with the most gentle of pressure, the beeping stopped altogether. He pulled back abruptly, his anxious expression turning to relief as the monitor reported the restarting of my heart. ââ¬Å"It seems that I'm going to have to be even more careful with you than usual.â⬠He frowned. ââ¬Å"I was not finished kissing you,â⬠I complained. ââ¬Å"Don't make me come over there.â⬠He grinned, and bent to press his lips lightly to mine. The monitor went wild. But then his lips were taut. He pulled away. ââ¬Å"I think I hear your mother,â⬠he said, grinning again. ââ¬Å"Don't leave me,â⬠I cried, an irrational surge of panic flooding through me. I couldn't let him go ââ¬â he might disappear from me again. He read the terror in my eyes for a short second. ââ¬Å"I won't,â⬠he promised solemnly, and then he smiled. ââ¬Å"I'll take a nap.â⬠He moved from the hard plastic chair by my side to the turquoise faux-leather recliner at the foot of my bed, leaning it all the way back, and closing his eyes. He was perfectly still. ââ¬Å"Don't forget to breathe,â⬠I whispered sarcastically. He took a deep breath, his eyes still closed. I could hear my mother now. She was talking to someone, maybe a nurse, and she sounded tired and upset. I wanted to jump out of the bed and run to her, to calm her, promise that everything was fine. But I wasn't in any sort of shape for jumping, so I waited impatiently. The door opened a crack, and she peeked through. ââ¬Å"Mom!â⬠I whispered, my voice full of love and relief. She took in Edward's still form on the recliner, and tiptoed to my bedside. ââ¬Å"He never leaves, does he?â⬠she mumbled to herself. ââ¬Å"Mom, I'm so glad to see you!â⬠She bent down to hug me gently, and I felt warm tears falling on my cheeks. ââ¬Å"Bella, I was so upset!â⬠ââ¬Å"I'm sorry, Mom. But everything's fine now, it's okay,â⬠I comforted her. ââ¬Å"I'm just glad to finally see your eyes open.â⬠She sat on the edge of my bed. I suddenly realized I didn't have any idea when it was. ââ¬Å"How long have they been closed?â⬠ââ¬Å"It's Friday, hon, you've been out for a while.â⬠ââ¬Å"Friday?â⬠I was shocked. I tried to remember what day it had been whenâ⬠¦ but I didn't want to think about that. ââ¬Å"They had to keep you sedated for a while, honey ââ¬â you've got a lot of injuries.â⬠ââ¬Å"I know.â⬠I could feel them. ââ¬Å"You're lucky Dr. Cullen was there. He's such a nice manâ⬠¦ very young, though. And he looks more like a model than a doctorâ⬠¦Ã¢â¬ ââ¬Å"You met Carlisle?â⬠ââ¬Å"And Edward's sister Alice. She's a lovely girl.â⬠ââ¬Å"She is,â⬠I agreed wholeheartedly. She glanced over her shoulder at Edward, lying with his eyes closed in the chair. ââ¬Å"You didn't tell me you had such good friends in Forks.â⬠I cringed, and then moaned. ââ¬Å"What hurts?â⬠she demanded anxiously, turning back to me. Edward's eyes flashed to my face. ââ¬Å"It's fine,â⬠I assured them. ââ¬Å"I just have to remember not to move.â⬠He lapsed back into his phony slumber. I took advantage of my mother's momentary distraction to keep the subject from returning to my less-than-candid behavior. ââ¬Å"Where's Phil?â⬠I asked quickly. ââ¬Å"Florida ââ¬â oh, Bella! You'll never guess! Just when we were about to leave, the best news!â⬠ââ¬Å"Phil got signed?â⬠I guessed. ââ¬Å"Yes! How did you guess! The Suns, can you believe it?â⬠ââ¬Å"That's great, Mom,â⬠I said as enthusiastically as I could manage, though I had little idea what that meant. ââ¬Å"And you'll like Jacksonville so much,â⬠she gushed while I stared at her vacantly. ââ¬Å"I was a little bit worried when Phil started talking about Akron, what with the snow and everything, because you know how I hate the cold, but now Jacksonville! It's always sunny, and the humidity really isn't that bad. We found the cutest house, yellow, with white trim, and a porch just like in an old movie, and this huge oak tree, and it's just a few minutes from the ocean, and you'll have your own bathroom -ââ¬Å" ââ¬Å"Wait, Mom!â⬠I interrupted. Edward still had his eyes closed, but he looked too tense to pass as asleep. ââ¬Å"What are you talking about? I'm not going to Florida. I live in Forks.â⬠ââ¬Å"But you don't have to anymore, silly,â⬠she laughed. ââ¬Å"Phil will be able to be around so much more nowâ⬠¦ we've talked about it a lot, and what I'm going to do is trade off on the away games, half the time with you, half the time with him.â⬠ââ¬Å"Mom.â⬠I hesitated, wondering how best to be diplomatic about this. ââ¬Å"I want to live in Forks. I'm already settled in at school, and I have a couple of girlfriendsâ⬠ââ¬â she glanced toward Edward again when I reminded her of friends, so I tried another direction ââ¬â ââ¬Å"and Charlie needs me. He's just all alone up there, and he can't cook at all.â⬠ââ¬Å"You want to stay in Forks?â⬠she asked, bewildered. The idea was inconceivable to her. And then her eyes flickered back toward Edward. ââ¬Å"Why?â⬠ââ¬Å"I told you ââ¬â school, Charlie ââ¬â ouch!â⬠I'd shrugged. Not a good idea. Her hands fluttered helplessly over me, trying to find a safe place to pat. She made do with my forehead; it was unbandaged. ââ¬Å"Bella, honey, you hate Forks,â⬠she reminded me. ââ¬Å"It's not so bad.â⬠She frowned and looked back and forth between Edward and me, this time very deliberately. ââ¬Å"Is it this boy?â⬠she whispered. I opened my mouth to lie, but her eyes were scrutinizing my face, and I knew she would see through that. ââ¬Å"He's part of it,â⬠I admitted. No need to confess how big a part. ââ¬Å"So, have you had a chance to talk with Edward?â⬠I asked. ââ¬Å"Yes.â⬠She hesitated, looking at his perfectly still form. ââ¬Å"And I want to talk to you about that.â⬠Uh-oh. ââ¬Å"What about?â⬠I asked. ââ¬Å"I think that boy is in love with you,â⬠she accused, keeping her voice low. ââ¬Å"I think so, too,â⬠I confided. ââ¬Å"And how do you feel about him?â⬠She only poorly concealed the raging curiosity in her voice. I sighed, looking away. As much as I loved my mom, this was not a conversation I wanted to have with her. ââ¬Å"I'm pretty crazy about him.â⬠There ââ¬â that sounded like something a teenager with her first boyfriend might say. ââ¬Å"Well, he seems very nice, and, my goodness, he's incredibly good-looking, but you're so young, Bellaâ⬠¦Ã¢â¬ Her voice was unsure; as far as I could remember, this was the first time since I was eight that she'd come close to trying to sound like a parental authority. I recognized the reasonable-but-firm tone of voice from talks I'd had with her about men. ââ¬Å"I know that, Mom. Don't worry about it. It's just a crush,â⬠I soothed her. ââ¬Å"That's right,â⬠she agreed, easily pleased. Then she sighed and glanced guiltily over her shoulder at the big, round clock on the wall. ââ¬Å"Do you need to go?â⬠She bit her lip. ââ¬Å"Phil's supposed to call in a little whileâ⬠¦ I didn't know you were going to wake upâ⬠¦Ã¢â¬ ââ¬Å"No problem, Mom.â⬠I tried to tone down the relief so she wouldn't get her feelings hurt. ââ¬Å"I won't be alone.â⬠ââ¬Å"I'll be back soon. I've been sleeping here, you know,â⬠she announced, proud of herself. ââ¬Å"Oh, Mom, you don't have to do that! You can sleep at home ââ¬â I'll never notice.â⬠The swirl of painkillers in my brain was making it hard to concentrate even now, though, apparently, I'd been sleeping for days. ââ¬Å"I was too nervous,â⬠she admitted sheepishly. ââ¬Å"There's been some crime in the neighborhood, and I don't like being there alone.â⬠ââ¬Å"Crime?â⬠I asked in alarm. ââ¬Å"Someone broke into that dance studio around the corner from the house and burned it to the ground ââ¬â there's nothing left at all! And they left a stolen car right out front. Do you remember when you used to dance there, honey?â⬠ââ¬Å"I remember.â⬠I shivered, and winced. ââ¬Å"I can stay, baby, if you need me.â⬠ââ¬Å"No, Mom, I'll be fine. Edward will be with me.â⬠She looked like that might be why she wanted to stay. ââ¬Å"I'll be back tonight.â⬠It sounded as much like a warning as it sounded like a promise, and she glanced at Edward again as she said it. ââ¬Å"I love you, Mom.â⬠ââ¬Å"I love you, too, Bella. Try to be more careful when you walk, honey, I don't want to lose you.â⬠Edward's eyes stayed closed, but a wide grin flashed across his face. A nurse came bustling in then to check all my tubes and wires. My mother kissed my forehead, patted my gauze-wrapped hand, and left. The nurse was checking the paper readout on my heart monitor. ââ¬Å"Are you feeling anxious, honey? Your heart rate got a little high there.â⬠ââ¬Å"I'm fine,â⬠I assured her. ââ¬Å"I'll tell your RN that you're awake. She'll be in to see you in a minute.â⬠As soon as she closed the door, Edward was at my side. ââ¬Å"You stole a car?â⬠I raised my eyebrows. He smiled, unrepentant. ââ¬Å"It was a good car, very fast.â⬠ââ¬Å"How was your nap?â⬠I asked. ââ¬Å"Interesting.â⬠His eyes narrowed. ââ¬Å"What?â⬠He looked down while he answered. ââ¬Å"I'm surprised. I thought Floridaâ⬠¦ and your motherâ⬠¦ well, I thought that's what you would want.â⬠I stared at him uncomprehendingly. ââ¬Å"But you'd be stuck inside all day in Florida. You'd only be able to come out at night, just like a real vampire.â⬠He almost smiled, but not quite. And then his face was grave. ââ¬Å"I would stay in Forks, Bella. Or somewhere like it,â⬠he explained. ââ¬Å"Someplace where I couldn't hurt you anymore.â⬠It didn't sink in at first. I continued to stare at him blankly as the words one by one clicked into place in my head like a ghastly puzzle. I was barely conscious of the sound of my heart accelerating, though, as my breathing became hyperventilation, I was aware of the sharp aching in my protesting ribs. He didn't say anything; he watched my face warily as the pain that had nothing to do with broken bones, pain that was infinitely worse, threatened to crush me. And then another nurse walked purposefully into the room. Edward sat still as stone as she took in my expression with a practiced eye before turning to the monitors. ââ¬Å"Time for more pain meds, sweetheart?â⬠she asked kindly, tapping the IV feed. ââ¬Å"No, no,â⬠I mumbled, trying to keep the agony out of my voice. ââ¬Å"I don't need anything.â⬠I couldn't afford to close my eyes now. ââ¬Å"No need to be brave, honey. It's better if you don't get too stressed out; you need to rest.â⬠She waited, but I just shook my head. ââ¬Å"Okay,â⬠she sighed. ââ¬Å"Hit the call button when you're ready.â⬠She gave Edward a stern look, and threw one more anxious glance at the machinery, before leaving. His cool hands were on my face; I stared at him with wild eyes. ââ¬Å"Shhh, Bella, calm down.â⬠ââ¬Å"Don't leave me,â⬠I begged in a broken voice. ââ¬Å"I won't,â⬠he promised. ââ¬Å"Now relax before I call the nurse back to sedate you.â⬠But my heart couldn't slow. ââ¬Å"Bella.â⬠He stroked my face anxiously. ââ¬Å"I'm not going anywhere. I'll be right here as long as you need me.â⬠ââ¬Å"Do you swear you won't leave me?â⬠I whispered. I tried to control the gasping, at least. My ribs were throbbing. He put his hands on either side of my face and brought his face close to mine. His eyes were wide and serious. ââ¬Å"I swear.â⬠The smell of his breath was soothing. It seemed to ease the ache of my breathing. He continued to hold my gaze while my body slowly relaxed and the beeping returned to a normal pace. His eyes were dark, closer to black than gold today. ââ¬Å"Better?â⬠he asked. ââ¬Å"Yes,â⬠I said cautiously. He shook his head and muttered something unintelligible. I thought I picked out the word ââ¬Å"overreaction.â⬠ââ¬Å"Why did you say that?â⬠I whispered, trying to keep my voice from shaking. ââ¬Å"Are you tired of having to save me all the time? Do you want me to go away?â⬠ââ¬Å"No, I don't want to be without you, Bella, of course not. Be rational. And I have no problem with saving you, either ââ¬â if it weren't for the fact that I was the one putting you in dangerâ⬠¦ that I'm the reason that you're here.â⬠ââ¬Å"Yes, you are the reason.â⬠I frowned. ââ¬Å"The reason I'm here ââ¬â alive.â⬠ââ¬Å"Barely.â⬠His voice was just a whisper. ââ¬Å"Covered in gauze and plaster and hardly able to move.â⬠ââ¬Å"I wasn't referring to my most recent near-death experience,â⬠I said, growing irritated. ââ¬Å"I was thinking of the others ââ¬â you can take your pick. If it weren't for you, I would be rotting away in the Forks cemetery.â⬠He winced at my words, but the haunted look didn't leave his eyes. ââ¬Å"That's not the worst part, though,â⬠he continued to whisper. He acted as if I hadn't spoken. ââ¬Å"Not seeing you there on the floorâ⬠¦ crumpled and broken.â⬠His voice was choked. ââ¬Å"Not thinking I was too late. Not even hearing you scream in pain ââ¬â all those unbearable memories that I'll carry with me for the rest of eternity. No, the very worst was feelingâ⬠¦ knowing that I couldn't stop. Believing that I was going to kill you myself.â⬠ââ¬Å"But you didn't.â⬠ââ¬Å"I could have. So easily.â⬠I knew I needed to stay calmâ⬠¦ but he was trying to talk himself into leaving me, and the panic fluttered in my lungs, trying to get out. ââ¬Å"Promise me,â⬠I whispered. ââ¬Å"What?â⬠ââ¬Å"You know what.â⬠I was starting to get angry now. He was so stubbornly determined to dwell on the negative. He heard the change in my tone. His eyes tightened. ââ¬Å"I don't seem to be strong enough to stay away from you, so I suppose that you'll get your wayâ⬠¦ whether it kills you or not,â⬠he added roughly. ââ¬Å"Good.â⬠He hadn't promised, though ââ¬â a fact that I had not missed. The panic was only barely contained; I had no strength left to control the anger. ââ¬Å"You told me how you stoppedâ⬠¦ now I want to know why,â⬠I demanded. ââ¬Å"Why?â⬠he repeated warily. ââ¬Å"Why you did it. Why didn't you just let the venom spread? By now I would be just like you.â⬠Edward's eyes seemed to turn flat black, and I remembered that this was something he'd never intended me to know. Alice must have been preoccupied by the things she'd learned about herselfâ⬠¦ or she'd been very careful with her thoughts around him ââ¬â clearly, he'd had no idea that she'd filled me in on the mechanics of vampire conversions. He was surprised, and infuriated. His nostrils flared, his mouth looked as if it was chiseled from stone. He wasn't going to answer, that much was clear. ââ¬Å"I'll be the first to admit that I have no experience with relationships,â⬠I said. ââ¬Å"But it just seems logicalâ⬠¦ a man and woman have to be somewhat equalâ⬠¦ as in, one of them can't always be swooping in and saving the other one. They have to save each other equally.â⬠He folded his arms on the side of my bed and rested his chin on his arms. His expression was smooth, the anger reined in. Evidently he'd decided he wasn't angry with me. I hoped I'd get a chance to warn Alice before he caught up with her. ââ¬Å"You have saved me,â⬠he said quietly. ââ¬Å"I can't always be Lois Lane,â⬠I insisted. ââ¬Å"I want to be Superman, too.â⬠ââ¬Å"You don't know what you're asking.â⬠His voice was soft; he stared intently at the edge of the pillowcase. ââ¬Å"I think I do.â⬠ââ¬Å"Bella, you don't know. I've had almost ninety years to think about this, and I'm still not sure.â⬠ââ¬Å"Do you wish that Carlisle hadn't saved you?â⬠ââ¬Å"No, I don't wish that.â⬠He paused before continuing. ââ¬Å"But my life was over. I wasn't giving anything up.â⬠ââ¬Å"You are my life. You're the only thing it would hurt me to lose.â⬠I was getting better at this. It was easy to admit how much I needed him. He was very calm, though. Decided. ââ¬Å"I can't do it, Bella. I won't do that to you.â⬠ââ¬Å"Why not?â⬠My throat rasped and the words weren't as loud as I'd meant them to be. ââ¬Å"Don't tell me it's too hard! After today, or I guess it was a few days agoâ⬠¦ anyway, after that, it should be nothing.â⬠He glared at me. ââ¬Å"And the pain?â⬠he asked. I blanched. I couldn't help it. But I tried to keep my expression from showing how clearly I remembered the feelingâ⬠¦ the fire in my veins. ââ¬Å"That's my problem,â⬠I said. ââ¬Å"I can handle it.â⬠ââ¬Å"It's possible to take bravery to the point where it becomes insanity.â⬠ââ¬Å"It's not an issue. Three days. Big deal.â⬠Edward grimaced again as my words reminded him that I was more informed than he had ever intended me to be. I watched him repress the anger, watched as his eyes grew speculative. ââ¬Å"Charlie?â⬠he asked curtly. ââ¬Å"Ren?à ¦e?â⬠Minutes passed in silence as I struggled to answer his question. I opened my mouth, but no sound came out. I closed it again. He waited, and his expression became triumphant because he knew I had no true answer. ââ¬Å"Look, that's not an issue either,â⬠I finally muttered; my voice was as unconvincing as it always was when I lied. ââ¬Å"Ren?à ¦e has always made the choices that work for her ââ¬â she'd want me to do the same. And Charlie's resilient, he's used to being on his own. I can't take care of them forever. I have my own life to live.â⬠ââ¬Å"Exactly,â⬠he snapped. ââ¬Å"And I won't end it for you.â⬠ââ¬Å"If you're waiting for me to be on my deathbed, I've got news for you! I was just there!â⬠ââ¬Å"You're going to recover,â⬠he reminded me. I took a deep breath to calm myself, ignoring the spasm of pain it triggered. I stared at him, and he stared back. There was no compromise in his face. ââ¬Å"No,â⬠I said slowly. ââ¬Å"I'm not.â⬠His forehead creased. ââ¬Å"Of course you are. You may have a scar or twoâ⬠¦Ã¢â¬ ââ¬Å"You're wrong,â⬠I insisted. ââ¬Å"I'm going to die.â⬠ââ¬Å"Really, Bella.â⬠He was anxious now. ââ¬Å"You'll be out of here in a few days. Two week at most.â⬠I glared at him. ââ¬Å"I may not die nowâ⬠¦ but I'm going to die sometime. Every minute of the day, I get closer. And I'm going to get old.â⬠He frowned as what I was saying sunk in, pressing his long fingers to his temples and closing his eyes. ââ¬Å"That's how it's supposed to happen. How it should happen. How it would have happened if I didn't exist ââ¬â and I shouldn't exist.â⬠I snorted. He opened his eyes in surprise. ââ¬Å"That's stupid. That's like going to someone who's just won the lottery, taking their money, and saying, ââ¬ËLook, let's just go back to how things should be. It's better that way.' And I'm not buying it.â⬠ââ¬Å"I'm hardly a lottery prize,â⬠he growled. ââ¬Å"That's right. You're much better.â⬠He rolled his eyes and set his lips. ââ¬Å"Bella, we're not having this discussion anymore. I refuse to damn you to an eternity of night and that's the end of it.â⬠ââ¬Å"If you think that's the end, then you don't know me very well,â⬠I warned him. ââ¬Å"You're not the only vampire I know.â⬠His eyes went black again. ââ¬Å"Alice wouldn't dare.â⬠And for a moment he looked so frightening that I couldn't help but believe it ââ¬â I couldn't imagine someone brave enough to cross him. ââ¬Å"Alice already saw it, didn't she?â⬠I guessed. ââ¬Å"That's why the things she says upset you. She knows I'm going to be like youâ⬠¦ someday.â⬠ââ¬Å"She's wrong. She also saw you dead, but that didn't happen, either.â⬠ââ¬Å"You'll never catch me betting against Alice.â⬠We stared at each other for a very long time. It was quiet except for the whirring of the machines, the beeping, the dripping, the ticking of the big clock on the wall. Finally, his expression softened. ââ¬Å"So where does that leave us?â⬠I wondered. He chuckled humorlessly. ââ¬Å"I believe it's called an impasse.â⬠I sighed. ââ¬Å"Ouch,â⬠I muttered. ââ¬Å"How are you feeling?â⬠he asked, eyeing the button for the nurse. ââ¬Å"I'm fine,â⬠I lied. ââ¬Å"I don't believe you,â⬠he said gently. ââ¬Å"I'm not going back to sleep.â⬠ââ¬Å"You need rest. All this arguing isn't good for you.â⬠ââ¬Å"So give in,â⬠I hinted. ââ¬Å"Nice try.â⬠He reached for the button. ââ¬Å"No!â⬠He ignored me. ââ¬Å"Yes?â⬠the speaker on the wall squawked. ââ¬Å"I think we're ready for more pain medication,â⬠he said calmly, ignoring my furious expression. ââ¬Å"I'll send in the nurse.â⬠The voice sounded very bored. ââ¬Å"I won't take it,â⬠I promised. He looked toward the sack of fluids hanging beside my bed. ââ¬Å"I don't think they're going to ask you to swallow anything.â⬠My heart rate started to climb. He read the fear in my eyes, and sighed in frustration. ââ¬Å"Bella, you're in pain. You need to relax so you can heal. Why are you being so difficult? They're not going to put any more needles in you now.â⬠ââ¬Å"I'm not afraid of the needles,â⬠I mumbled. ââ¬Å"I'm afraid to close my eyes.â⬠Then he smiled his crooked smile, and took my face between his hands. ââ¬Å"I told you I'm not going anywhere. Don't be afraid. As long as it makes you happy, I'll be here.â⬠I smiled back, ignoring the ache in my cheeks. ââ¬Å"You're talking about forever, you know.â⬠ââ¬Å"Oh, you'll get over it ââ¬â it's just a crush.â⬠I shook my head in disbelief- it made me dizzy. ââ¬Å"I was shocked when Ren?à ¦e swallowed that one. I know you know better.â⬠ââ¬Å"That's the beautiful thing about being human,â⬠he told me. ââ¬Å"Things change.â⬠My eyes narrowed. ââ¬Å"Don't hold your breath.â⬠He was laughing when the nurse came in, brandishing a syringe. ââ¬Å"Excuse me,â⬠she said brusquely to Edward. He got up and crossed to the end of the small room, leaning against the wall. He folded his arms and waited. I kept my eyes on him, still apprehensive. He met my gaze calmly. ââ¬Å"Here you go, honey.â⬠The nurse smiled as she injected the medicine into my tube. ââ¬Å"You'll feel better now.â⬠ââ¬Å"Thanks,â⬠I mumbled, unenthusiastic. It didn't take long. I could feel the drowsiness trickling through my bloodstream almost immediately. ââ¬Å"That ought to do it,â⬠she muttered as my eyelids drooped. She must have left the room, because something cold and smooth touched my face. ââ¬Å"Stay.â⬠The word was slurred. ââ¬Å"I will,â⬠he promised. His voice was beautiful, like a lullaby. ââ¬Å"Like I said, as long as it makes you happyâ⬠¦ as long as it's what's best for you.â⬠I tried to shake my head, but it was too heavy. ââ¬Å"ââ¬ËS not the same thing,â⬠I mumbled. He laughed. ââ¬Å"Don't worry about that now, Bella. You can argue with me when you wake up.â⬠I think I smiled. ââ¬Ëâ⬠Kay.â⬠I could feel his lips at my ear. ââ¬Å"I love you,â⬠he whispered. ââ¬Å"Me, too.â⬠ââ¬Å"I know,â⬠he laughed quietly. I turned my head slightlyâ⬠¦ searching. He knew what I was after. His lips touched mine gently. ââ¬Å"Thanks,â⬠I sighed. ââ¬Å"Anytime.â⬠I wasn't really there at all anymore. But I fought against the stupor weakly. There was just one more thing I wanted to tell him. ââ¬Å"Edward?â⬠I struggled to pronounce his name clearly. ââ¬Å"Yes?â⬠ââ¬Å"I'm betting on Alice,â⬠I mumbled. And then the night closed over me. EPILOGUE:AN OCCASION Edward helped me into his car, being very careful of the wisps of silk and chiffon, the flowers he'd just pinned into my elaborately styled curls, and my bulky walking cast. He ignored the angry set of my mouth. When he had me settled, he got in the driver's seat and headed back out the long, narrow drive. ââ¬Å"At what point exactly are you going to tell me what's going on?â⬠I asked grumpily. I really hated surprises. And he knew that. ââ¬Å"I'm shocked that you haven't figured it out yet.â⬠He threw a mocking smile in my direction, and my breath caught in my throat. Would I ever get used to his perfection? ââ¬Å"I did mention that you looked very nice, didn't I?â⬠I verified. ââ¬Å"Yes.â⬠He grinned again. I'd never seen him dress in black before, and, with the contrast against his pale skin, his beauty was absolutely surreal. That much I couldn't deny, even if the fact that he was wearing a tuxedo made me very nervous. Not quite as nervous as the dress. Or the shoe. Only one shoe, as my other foot was still securely encased in plaster. But the stiletto heel, held on only by satin ribbons, certainly wasn't going to help me as I tried to hobble around. ââ¬Å"I'm not coming over anymore if Alice is going to treat me like Guinea Pig Barbie when I do,â⬠I griped. I'd spent the better part of the day in Alice's staggeringly vast bathroom, a helpless victim as she played hairdresser and cosmetician. Whenever I fidgeted or complained, she reminded me that she didn't have any memories of being human, and asked me not to ruin her vicarious fun. Then she'd dressed me in the most ridiculous dress ââ¬â deep blue, frilly and off the shoulders, with French tags I couldn't read ââ¬â a dress more suitable for a runway than Forks. Nothing good could come of our formal attire, of that I was sure. Unlessâ⬠¦ but I was afraid to put my suspicions into words, even in my own head. I was distracted then by the sound of a phone ringing. Edward pulled his cell phone from a pocket inside his jacket, looking briefly at the caller ID before answering. ââ¬Å"Hello, Charlie,â⬠he said warily. ââ¬Å"Charlie?â⬠I frowned. Charlie had beenâ⬠¦ difficult since my return to Forks. He had compartmentalized my bad experience into two defined reactions. Toward Carlisle he was almost worshipfully grateful. On the other hand, he was stubbornly convinced that Edward was at fault ââ¬â because, if not for him, I wouldn't have left home in the first place. And Edward was far from disagreeing with him. These days I had rules that hadn't existed before: curfewsâ⬠¦ visiting hours. Something Charlie was saying made Edward's eyes widen in disbelief, and then a grin spread across his face. ââ¬Å"You're kidding!â⬠He laughed. ââ¬Å"What is it?â⬠I demanded. He ignored me. ââ¬Å"Why don't you let me talk to him?â⬠Edward suggested with evident pleasure. He waited for a few seconds. ââ¬Å"Hello, Tyler, this is Edward Cullen.â⬠His voice was very friendly, on the surface. I knew it well enough to catch the soft edge of menace. What was Tyler doing at my house? The awful truth began to dawn on me. I looked again at the inappropriate dress Alice had forced me into. ââ¬Å"I'm sorry if there's been some kind of miscommunication, but Bella is unavailable tonight.â⬠Edward's tone changed, and the threat in his voice was suddenly much more evident as he continued. ââ¬Å"To be perfectly honest, she'll be unavailable every night, as far as anyone besides myself is concerned. No offense. And I'm sorry about your evening.â⬠He didn't sound sorry at all. And then he snapped the phone shut, a huge smirk on his face. My face and neck flushed crimson with anger. I could feel the rage-induced tears starting to fill my eyes. He looked at me in surprise. ââ¬Å"Was that last part a bit too much? I didn't mean to offend you.â⬠I ignored that. ââ¬Å"You're taking me to the prom!â⬠I yelled. It was embarrassingly obvious now. If I'd been paying any attention at all, I'm sure I would have noticed the date on the posters that decorated the school buildings. But I'd never dreamed he was thinking of subjecting me to this. Didn't he know me at all? He wasn't expecting the force of my reaction, that was clear. He pressed his lips together and his eyes narrowed. ââ¬Å"Don't be difficult, Bella.â⬠My eyes flashed to the window; we were halfway to the school already. ââ¬Å"Why are you doing this to me?â⬠I demanded in horror. He gestured to his tuxedo. ââ¬Å"Honestly, Bella, what did you think we were doing?â⬠I was mortified. First, because I'd missed the obvious. And also because the vague suspicions ââ¬â expectations, really ââ¬â that I'd been forming all day, as Alice tried to transform me into a beauty queen, were so far wide of the mark. My half-fearful hopes seemed very silly now. I'd guessed there was some kind of occasion brewing. But prom! That was the furthest thing from my mind. The angry tears rolled over my cheeks. I remembered with dismay that I was very uncharacteristically wearing mascara. I wiped quickly under my eyes to prevent any smudges. My hand was unblackened when I pulled it away; maybe Alice had known I would need waterproof makeup. ââ¬Å"This is completely ridiculous. Why are you crying?â⬠he demanded in frustration. ââ¬Å"Because I'm mad!â⬠ââ¬Å"Bella.â⬠He turned the full force of his scorching golden eyes on me. ââ¬Å"What?â⬠I muttered, distracted. ââ¬Å"Humor me,â⬠he insisted. His eyes were melting all my fury. It was impossible to fight with him when he cheated like that. I gave in with poor grace. ââ¬Å"Fine,â⬠I pouted, unable to glare as effectively as I would have liked. ââ¬Å"I'll go quietly. But you'll see. I'm way overdue for more bad luck. I'll probably break my other leg. Look at this shoe! It's a death trap!â⬠I held out my good leg as evidence. ââ¬Å"Hmmm.â⬠He stared at my leg longer than was necessary. ââ¬Å"Remind me to thank Alice for that tonight.â⬠ââ¬Å"Alice is going to be there?â⬠That comforted me slightly. ââ¬Å"With Jasper, and Emmettâ⬠¦ and Rosalie,â⬠he admitted. The feeling of comfort disappeared. There had been no progress with Rosalie, though I was on quite good terms with her sometimes-husband. Emmett enjoyed having me around ââ¬â he thought my bizarre human reactions were hilariousâ⬠¦ or maybe it was just the fact that I fell down a lot that he found so funny. Rosalie acted as if I didn't exist. While I shook my head to dispel the direction my thoughts had taken, I thought of something else. ââ¬Å"Is Charlie in on this?â⬠I asked, suddenly suspicious. ââ¬Å"Of course.â⬠He grinned, and then chuckled. ââ¬Å"Apparently Tyler wasn't, though.â⬠I gritted my teeth. How Tyler could be so delusional, I couldn't imagine. At school, where Charlie couldn't interfere, Edward and I were inseparable ââ¬â except for those rare sunny days. We were at the school now; Rosalie's red convertible was conspicuous in the parking lot. The clouds were thin today, a few streaks of sunlight escaping through far away in the west. He got out and walked around the car to open my door. He held out his hand. I sat stubbornly in my seat, arms folded, feeling a secret twinge of smugness. The lot was crowded with people in formal dress: witnesses. He couldn't remove me forcibly from the car as he might have if we'd been alone. He sighed. ââ¬Å"When someone wants to kill you, you're brave as a lion ââ¬â and then when someone mentions dancingâ⬠¦Ã¢â¬ He shook his head. I gulped. Dancing. ââ¬Å"Bella, I won't let anything hurt you ââ¬â not even yourself. I won't let go of you once, I promise.â⬠I thought about that and suddenly felt much better. He could see that in my face. ââ¬Å"There, now,â⬠he said gently, ââ¬Å"it won't be so bad.â⬠He leaned down and wrapped one arm around my waist. I took his other hand and let him lift me from the car. He kept his arm tightly around me, supporting me as I limped toward the school. In Phoenix, they held proms in hotel ballrooms. This dance was in the gym, of course. It was probably the only room in town big enough for a dance. When we got inside, I giggled. There were actual balloon arches and twisted garlands of pastel crepe paper festooning the walls. ââ¬Å"This looks like a horror movie waiting to happen,â⬠I snickered. ââ¬Å"Well,â⬠he muttered as we slowly approached the ticket table ââ¬â he was carrying most of my weight, but I still had to shuffle and wobble my feet forward ââ¬â ââ¬Å"there are more than enough vampires present.â⬠I looked at the dance floor; a wide gap had formed in the center of the floor, where two couples whirled gracefully. The other dancers pressed to the sides of the room to give them space ââ¬â no one wanted to stand in contrast with such radiance. Emmett and Jasper were intimidating and flawless in classic tuxedos. Alice was striking in a black satin dress with geometric cutouts that bared large triangles of her snowy white skin. And Rosalie wasâ⬠¦ well, Rosalie. She was beyond belief. Her vivid scarlet dress was backless, tight to her calves where it flared into a wide ruffled train, with a neckline that plunged to her waist. I pitied every girl in the room, myself included. ââ¬Å"Do you want me to bolt the doors so you can massacre the unsuspecting townsfolk?â⬠I whispered conspiratorially. ââ¬Å"And where do you fit into that scheme?â⬠He glared. ââ¬Å"Oh, I'm with the vampires, of course.â⬠He smiled reluctantly. ââ¬Å"Anything to get out of dancing.â⬠ââ¬Å"Anything.â⬠He bought our tickets, then turned me toward the dance floor. I cringed against his arm and dragged my feet. ââ¬Å"I've got all night,â⬠he warned. Eventually he towed me out to where his family was twirling elegantly ââ¬â if in a style totally unsuitable to the present time and music. I watched in horror. ââ¬Å"Edward.â⬠My throat was so dry I could only manage a whisper. ââ¬Å"I honestly can't dance!â⬠I could feel the panic bubbling up inside my chest. ââ¬Å"Don't worry, silly,â⬠he whispered back. ââ¬Å"I can.â⬠He put my arms around his neck and lifted me to slide his feet under mine. And then we were whirling, too. ââ¬Å"I feel like I'm five years old,â⬠I laughed after a few minutes of effortless waltzing. ââ¬Å"You don't look five,â⬠he murmured, pulling me closer for a second, so that my feet were briefly a foot from the ground. Alice caught my eye on a turn and smiled in encouragement ââ¬â I smiled back. I was surprised to realize that I was actually enjoying myselfâ⬠¦ a little. ââ¬Å"Okay, this isn't half bad,â⬠I admitted. But Edward was staring toward the doors, and his face was angry. ââ¬Å"What is it?â⬠I wondered aloud. I followed his gaze, disoriented by the spinning, but finally I could see what was bothering him. Jacob Black, not in a tux, but in a long-sleeved white shirt and tie, his hair smoothed back into his usual ponytail, was crossing the floor toward us. After the first shock of recognition, I couldn't help but feel bad for Jacob. He was clearly uncomfortable ââ¬â excruciatingly so. His face was apologetic as his eyes met mine. Edward snarled very quietly. ââ¬Å"Behave!â⬠I hissed. Edward's voice was scathing. ââ¬Å"He wants to chat with you.â⬠Jacob reached us then, the embarrassment and apology even more evident on his face. ââ¬Å"Hey, Bella, I was hoping you would be here.â⬠Jacob sounded like he'd been hoping the exact opposite. But his smile was just as warm as ever. ââ¬Å"Hi, Jacob.â⬠I smiled back. ââ¬Å"What's up?â⬠ââ¬Å"Can I cut in?â⬠he asked tentatively, glancing at Edward for the first time. I was shocked to notice that Jacob didn't have to look up. He must have grown half a foot since the first time I'd seen him. Edward's face was composed, his expression blank. His only answer was to set me carefully on my feet, and take a step back. ââ¬Å"Thanks,â⬠Jacob said amiably. Edward just nodded, looking at me intently before he turned to walk away. Jacob put his hands on my waist, and I reached up to put my hands on his shoulders. ââ¬Å"Wow, Jake, how tall are you now?â⬠He was smug. ââ¬Å"Six-two.â⬠We weren't really dancing ââ¬â my leg made that impossible. Instead we swayed awkwardly from side to side without moving our feet. It was just as well; the recent growth spurt had left him looking gangly and uncoordinated, he was probably no better a dancer than I was. ââ¬Å"So, how did you end up here tonight?â⬠I asked without true curiosity. Considering Edward's reaction, I could guess. ââ¬Å"Can you believe my dad paid me twenty bucks to come to your prom?â⬠he admitted, slightly ashamed. ââ¬Å"Yes, I can,â⬠I muttered. ââ¬Å"Well, I hope you're enjoying yourself, at least. Seen anything you like?â⬠I teased, nodding toward a group of girls lined up against the wall like pastel confections. ââ¬Å"Yeah,â⬠he sighed. ââ¬Å"But she's taken.â⬠He glanced down to meet my curious gaze for just a second ââ¬â then we both looked away, embarrassed. ââ¬Å"You look really pretty, by the way,â⬠he added shyly. ââ¬Å"Um, thanks. So why did Billy pay you to come here?â⬠I asked quickly, though I knew the answer. Jacob didn't seem grateful for the subject change; he looked away, uncomfortable again. ââ¬Å"He said it was a ââ¬Ësafe' place to talk to you. I swear the old man is losing his mind.â⬠I joined in his laughter weakly. ââ¬Å"Anyway, he said that if I told you something, he would get me that master cylinder I need,â⬠he confessed with a sheepish grin. ââ¬Å"Tell me, then. I want you to get your car finished.â⬠I grinned back. At least Jacob didn't believe any of this. It made the situation a bit easier. Against the wall, Edward was watching my face, his own face expressionless. I saw a sophomore in a pink dress eyeing him with timid speculation, but he didn't seem to be aware of her. Jacob looked away again, ashamed. ââ¬Å"Don't get mad, okay?â⬠ââ¬Å"There's no way I'll be mad at you, Jacob,â⬠I assured him. ââ¬Å"I won't even be mad at Billy. Just say what you have to.â⬠ââ¬Å"Well ââ¬â this is so stupid, I'm sorry, Bella ââ¬â he wants you to break up with your boyfriend. He asked me to tell you ââ¬Ëplease.'â⬠He shook his head in disgust. ââ¬Å"He's still superstitious, eh?â⬠ââ¬Å"Yeah. He wasâ⬠¦ kind of over the top when you got hurt down in Phoenix. He didn't believeâ⬠¦Ã¢â¬ Jacob trailed off self-consciously. My eyes narrowed. ââ¬Å"I fell.â⬠ââ¬Å"I know that,â⬠Jacob said quickly. ââ¬Å"He thinks Edward had something to do with me getting hurt.â⬠It wasn't a question, and despite my promise, I was angry. Jacob wouldn't meet my eyes. We weren't even bothering to sway to the music, though his hands were still on my waist, and mine around his neck. ââ¬Å"Look, Jacob, I know Billy probably won't believe this, but just so you knowâ⬠ââ¬â he looked at me now, responding to the new earnestness in my voice ââ¬â ââ¬Å"Edward really did save my life. If it weren't for Edward and his father, I'd be dead.â⬠ââ¬Å"I know,â⬠he claimed, but he sounded like my sincere words had affected him some. Maybe he'd be able to convince Billy of this much, at least. ââ¬Å"Hey, I'm sorry you had to come do this, Jacob,â⬠I apologized. ââ¬Å"At any rate, you get your parts, right?â⬠ââ¬Å"Yeah,â⬠he muttered. He was still looking awkwardâ⬠¦ upset. ââ¬Å"There's more?â⬠I asked in disbelief. ââ¬Å"Forget it,â⬠he mumbled, ââ¬Å"I'll get a job and save the money myself.â⬠I glared at him until he met my gaze. ââ¬Å"Just spit it out, Jacob.â⬠ââ¬Å"It's so bad.â⬠ââ¬Å"I don't care. Tell me,â⬠I insisted. ââ¬Å"Okayâ⬠¦ but, geez, this sounds bad.â⬠He shook his head. ââ¬Å"He said to tell you, no, to warn you, that ââ¬â and this is his plural, not mineâ⬠ââ¬â he lifted one hand from my waist and made little quotations marks in the air ââ¬â ââ¬Ëâ⬠We'll be watching.'â⬠He watched warily for my reaction. It sounded like something from a mafia movie. I laughed out loud. ââ¬Å"Sorry you had to do this, Jake,â⬠I snickered. ââ¬Å"I don't mind that much.â⬠He grinned in relief. His eyes were appraising as they raked quickly over my dress. ââ¬Å"So, should I tell him you said to butt the hell out?â⬠he asked hopefully. ââ¬Å"No,â⬠I sighed. ââ¬Å"Tell him I said thanks. I know he means well.â⬠The song ended, and I dropped my arms. His hands hesitated at my waist, and he glanced at my bum leg. ââ¬Å"Do you want to dance again? Or can I help you get somewhere?â⬠Edward answered for me. ââ¬Å"That's all right, Jacob. I'll take it from here.â⬠Jacob flinched, and stared wide-eyed at Edward, who stood just beside us. ââ¬Å"Hey, I didn't see you there,â⬠he mumbled. ââ¬Å"I guess I'll see you around, Bella.â⬠He stepped back, waving halfheartedly. I smiled. ââ¬Å"Yeah, I'll see you later.â⬠ââ¬Å"Sorry,â⬠he said again before he turned for the door. Edward's arms wound around me as the next song started. It was a little up-tempo for slow dancing, but that didn't seem to concern him. I leaned my head against his chest, content. ââ¬Å"Feeling better?â⬠I teased. ââ¬Å"Not really,â⬠he said tersely. ââ¬Å"Don't be mad at Billy,â⬠I sighed. ââ¬Å"He just worries about me for Charlie's sake. It's nothing personal.â⬠ââ¬Å"I'm not mad at Billy,â⬠he corrected in a clipped voice. ââ¬Å"But his son is irritating me.â⬠I pulled back to look at him. His face was very serious. ââ¬Å"Why?â⬠ââ¬Å"First of all, he made me break my promise.â⬠I stared at him in confusion. He half-smiled. ââ¬Å"I promised I wouldn't let go of you tonight,â⬠he explained. ââ¬Å"Oh. Well, I forgive you.â⬠ââ¬Å"Thanks. But there's something else.â⬠Edward frowned. I waited patiently. ââ¬Å"He called you pretty,â⬠he finally continued, his frown deepening. ââ¬Å"That's practically an insult, the way you look right now. You're much more than beautiful.â⬠I laughed. ââ¬Å"You might be a little biased.â⬠ââ¬Å"I don't think that's it. Besides, I have excellent eyesight.â⬠We were twirling again, my feet on his as he held me close. ââ¬Å"So are you going to explain the reason for all of this?â⬠I wondered. He looked down at me, confused, and I glared meaningfully at the crepe paper. He considered for a moment, and then changed direction, spinning me through the crowd to the back door of the gym. I caught a glimpse of Jessica and Mike dancing, staring at me curiously. Jessica waved, and I smiled back quickly. Angela was there, too, looking blissfully happy in the arms of little Ben Cheney; she didn't look up from his eyes, a head lower than hers. Lee and Samantha, Lauren, glaring toward us, with Conner; I could name every face that spiraled past me. And then we were outdoors, in the cool, dim light of a fading sunset. As soon as we were alone, he swung me up into his arms, and carried me across the dark grounds till he reached the bench beneath the shadow of the madrone trees. He sat there, keeping me cradled against his chest. The moon was already up, visible through the gauzy clouds, and his face glowed pale in the white light. His mouth was hard, his eyes troubled. ââ¬Å"The point?â⬠I prompted softly. He ignored me, staring up at the moon. ââ¬Å"Twilight, again,â⬠he murmured. ââ¬Å"Another ending. No matter how perfect the day is, it always has to end.â⬠ââ¬Å"Some things don't have to end,â⬠I muttered through my teeth, instantly tense. He sighed. ââ¬Å"I brought you to the prom,â⬠he said slowly, finally answering my question, ââ¬Å"because I don't want you to miss anything. I don't want my presence to take anything away from you, if I can help it. I want you to be human. I want your life to continue as it would have if I'd died in nineteen-eighteen like I should have.â⬠I shuddered at his words, and then shook my head angrily. ââ¬Å"In what strange parallel dimension would I ever have gone to prom of my own free will? If you weren't a thousand times stronger than me, I would never have let you get away with this.â⬠He smiled briefly, but it didn't touch his eyes. ââ¬Å"It wasn't so bad, you said so yourself.â⬠ââ¬Å"That's because I was with you.â⬠We were quiet for a minute; he stared at the moon and I stared at him. I wished there was some way to explain how very uninterested I was in a normal human life. ââ¬Å"Will you tell me something?â⬠he asked, glancing down at me with a slight smile. ââ¬Å"Don't I always?â⬠ââ¬Å"Just promise you'll tell me,â⬠he insisted, grinning. I knew I was going to regret this almost instantly. ââ¬Å"Fine.â⬠ââ¬Å"You seemed honestly surprised when you figured out that I was taking you here,â⬠he began. ââ¬Å"I was,â⬠I interjected. ââ¬Å"Exactly,â⬠he agreed. ââ¬Å"But you must have had some other theoryâ⬠¦ I'm curious ââ¬â what did you think I was dressing you up for?â⬠Yes, instant regret. I pursed my lips, hesitating. ââ¬Å"I don't want to tell you.â⬠ââ¬Å"You promised,â⬠he objected. ââ¬Å"I know.â⬠ââ¬Å"What's the problem?â⬠I knew he thought it was mere embarrassment holding me back. ââ¬Å"I think it will make you mad ââ¬â or sad.â⬠His brows pulled together over his eyes as he thought that through. ââ¬Å"I still want to know. Please?â⬠I sighed. He waited. ââ¬Å"Wellâ⬠¦ I assumed it was some kind ofâ⬠¦ occasion. But I didn't think it would be some trite human thingâ⬠¦ prom!â⬠I scoffed. ââ¬Å"Human?â⬠he asked flatly. He'd picked up on the key word. I looked down at my dress, fidgeting with a stray piece of chiffon. He waited in silence. ââ¬Å"Okay,â⬠I confessed in a rush. ââ¬Å"So I was hoping that you might have changed your mindâ⬠¦ that you were going to change me, after all.â⬠A dozen emotions played across his face. Some I recognized: angerâ⬠¦ painâ⬠¦ and then he seemed to collect himself and his expression became amused. ââ¬Å"You thought that would be a black tie occasion, did you?â⬠he teased, touching the lapel of his tuxedo jacket. I scowled to hide my embarrassment. ââ¬Å"I don't know how these things work. To me, at least, it seems more rational than prom does.â⬠He was still grinning. ââ¬Å"It's not funny,â⬠I said. ââ¬Å"No, you're right, it's not,â⬠he agreed, his smile fading. ââ¬Å"I'd rather treat it like a joke, though, than believe you're serious.â⬠ââ¬Å"But I am serious.â⬠He sighed deeply. ââ¬Å"I know. And you're really that willing?â⬠The pain was back in his eyes. I bit my lip and nodded. ââ¬Å"So ready for this to be the end,â⬠he murmured, almost to himself, ââ¬Å"for this to be the twilight of your life, though your life has barely started. You're ready to give up everything.â⬠ââ¬Å"It's not the end, it's the beginning,â⬠I disagreed under my breath. ââ¬Å"I'm not worth it,â⬠he said sadly. ââ¬Å"Do you remember when you told me that I didn't see myself very clearly?â⬠I asked, raising my eyebrows. ââ¬Å"You obviously have the same blindness.â⬠ââ¬Å"I know what I am.â⬠I sighed. But his mercurial mood shifted on me. He pursed his lips, and his eyes were probing. He examined my face for a long moment. ââ¬Å"You're ready now, then?â⬠he asked. ââ¬Å"Um.â⬠I gulped. ââ¬Å"Yes?â⬠He smiled, and inclined his head slowly until his cold lips brushed against the skin just under the corner of my jaw. ââ¬Å"Right now?â⬠he whispered, his breath blowing cool on my neck. I shivered involuntarily. ââ¬Å"Yes,â⬠I whispered, so my voice wouldn't have a chance to break. If he thought I was bluffing, he was going to be disappointed. I'd already made this decision, and I was sure. It didn't matter that my body was rigid as a plank, my hands balled into fists, my breathing erraticâ⬠¦ He chuckled darkly, and leaned away. His face did look disappointed. ââ¬Å"You can't really believe that I would give in so easily,â⬠he said with a sour edge to his mocking tone. ââ¬Å"A girl can dream.â⬠His eyebrows rose. ââ¬Å"Is that what you dream about? Being a monster?â⬠ââ¬Å"Not exactly,â⬠I said, frowning at his word choice. Monster, indeed. ââ¬Å"Mostly I dream about being with you forever.â⬠His expression changed, softened and saddened by the subtle ache in my voice. ââ¬Å"Bella.â⬠His fingers lightly traced the shape of my lips. ââ¬Å"I will stay with you ââ¬â isn't that enough?â⬠I smiled under his fingertips. ââ¬Å"Enough for now.â⬠He frowned at my tenacity. No one was going to surrender tonight. He exhaled, and the sound was practically a growl. I touched his face. ââ¬Å"Look,â⬠I said. ââ¬Å"I love you more than everything else in the world combined. Isn't that enough?â⬠ââ¬Å"Yes, it is enough,â⬠he answered, smiling. ââ¬Å"Enough for forever.â⬠And he leaned down to press his cold lips once more to my throat.
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